It has been a real "TRIPP"

We hoped. We dreamed. We prayed. We received!!!


We are in AWE. I am feeling a sense of reverence for this life that God has allowed us to be a part of. There are hardly words for this deep sense of solemnity and amazement! I think in my mind, I was still cautious to whether he would really live and be a healthy newborn baby. I still wondered if we would end up in the NICU for some reason. So, to see him in healthy reality is completely breath-taking for me! I find myself just staring at Tripp David. Thank you Jesus for a healthy child.


Late Memorial Day Monday, I started having contractions. After three long nights and days of contractions coming and going, we finally got admitted to the hospital Thursday morning around 6am. At 12 noon Thursday, we had this precious little man in our arms. Delivery was fairly uneventful, just as we had hoped. My doctor was there to deliver (just barely) and I was able to deliver quickly once he was there. We prayed for a full-term baby. I love God's sense of humor. Tripp was born right at noon; on his due date. FUNNY; not a coincidence!


Tripp David's name is derived from being the third David in Matt's family. (Triple=Tripp=The Third)


Matt's Dad is David Edsel

Matt is David Matthew

And now we have Tripp David


He loves his hands. He is a good eater. Lily ADORES him.


Join us in Praising God for our little guy. Many prayers are answered. Much relief is felt. And now the journey begins......

Justification

I am learning that I don't HAVE TO provide an excuse for everything I do. I have always "shared" how I was feeling or why I was doing what I was doing. I think it helped me connect with another person and feel justified (just in case they wanted to judge me). However, I realizing that it is okay not to tell/share/give explanation. In some instances, it is okay to do something or be a certain way and not explain it at all. Afterall, we are to be finding our identity and our confidence in the LORD, not men. Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."


We have been on the go. I am attempting to get used to being up, doing some cooking, eating out, putting on some makeup, socializing, running our household. (Some of it seems a little ridiculous since I am just going to go backwards) It feels good, though, to be somewhat normal before we transition to having another member of our family. Anyway, between Lily's birthday celebrations, her graduation, and other social and household commitments, I woke up exhausted today. I am allowing her to watch TV and play on her Leapster all day. She played in her room for awhile. YES, we are just being bums. Well, not totally, but somewhat.


I am attempting to keep up every day on our Trifle Recipe Cards (triflerecipecards.com) orders. I am paying bills as they come in. Mom and Matt are keeping laundry caught up. I am attempting to keep the house in order. Why? All in hopes that it will make our time at the hospital more peaceful.


It is a peculiar time waiting on the arrival of a baby. Do I get groceries to make dinners next week? Do we make plans to do playdates with friends? Do we go to the lake? Today, I decided I probably need to go ahead with somehow obtaining groceries (I have not gone to the grocery yet due to it being so overwhelming). I probably should go ahead with making plans for a normal week next week. There is no point in lingering around in boredom. Lingering while waiting will, I think, only make us all stircrazy.


I have a list of jobs we need to accomplish. They don't HAVE TO be done before the baby comes, but I think we are going to work on them this weekend. Some baby related. Some not.


Pictures of graduation.

Well, I made it through Lily’s birthday party on Saturday and am still pregnant today, her actual birthday. Did not know if I would make it to the party. We have been celebrating since Thursday due to the fact that we did not know if I would make it through the weekend. Thursday during the day she got to celebrate her birthday with her classmates. She took her favorite (prepackaged) treat in to share with her classmates: Mint Oreos. Thursday night, we took her to get a mini-pedi; then to dinner at Biaggi’s. She LOVES eating out, so that was right up her alley. Friday was low-key, but we were busy getting ready for her party.


Saturday, family gathered and friends migrated to our house to celebrate. Truly, Lily doesn’t need small play items. Therefore, we ended up pooling together and getting her an 8 foot playhouse. Attached is a picture. OH MY. It is a dream playhouse. She loves the show Doc McStuffins where the little girl pretends to be a doctor to her stuffed animals. The girl in the Disney show doctors her animals in what they call a clinic (which is a playhouse). So, now Lily has her own clinic.


As family left the party, neighborhood kids came to play. Matt and I ended up serving popcorn, smoothies, and leftover birthday cupcakes to the kids as they continued to play through dinner and into the evening. WHAT A FUN DAY! She has an amazing childhood. We attempt not to “spoil” her. However, she just has a fun life. Part of it is her attitude. She loves everything. She loves sports; toys and dolls; helping with chores; cooking and baking; running errands; playing with any age child. I could go on. I hope that as her mom I can foster her to continue to love life in a way that I admire. With the Lord’s provision, she could be one amazing woman.


We had a chalkboard up during the party. Participants could write what they loved about Lily. She herself wrote something about herself. It says, “Lily loves Jesus.” Melts my heart.


Today, her actual birthday is a little low-key also. We are all exhausted from the weekend of celebrating. (Sunday we ended up going to the lake to help ‘open’ it and go on a birthday boatride.) She hung out on my bed watching tv this morning. This afternoon, she went to her Meemaw’s house and gymnastics. Tonight, we are taking her to Olive Garden per her request.


I am officially ready to have this baby. I was hoping to make it through Lily’s birthday and I did. The end is just plain miserable. And I am to that point. And, the anticipation of the big arrival day builds at the end. The anticipation of meeting this little guy is about to undo me! So, I am still hoping and praying for him to come in the next few days. I hope he is ready for his birthday……….


First picture is of Lily when she saw the playhouse being delivered. Second picture of her in the "clinic." The third is of her decorating her cupcake at her party. She had LOTS of toppings she could choose from.

The Lord has HIS hand on my womb

There is a constant question of whether we are going to stay in our current house or if we are going to move. The question is one that comes and goes every few months. It has been an interesting transition of our thought process. Last fall we had our house sold and another one purchased. It fell through within hours of me finding out I was pregnant. I am grateful for God's provision in that. And we are content here. Mostly.


I am content here most of the time and make an attempt to be as such. (Of course, I don't prefer change, so this comes semi-easily most of the time.)


However, it is a constant teeter-totter of what projects we do and what we don't do. Usually every year we do a few minor projects. One year we put new concrete stoops in our front and back porches. One year we got new landscaping. Some years it is new furniture or redoing a room. There is usually a project on the horizon peculating. The question every time we consider a project is: Is it worth it? How many more years are we staying here? Will we get the money out when we decide to sell? (The answer is NO to most of the projects from here on out.) But then the question is, if we stay here X number of years, we reap the benefit of it for as long as we stay, even if we don't get it out when we sell.


The project that I have desired from day 1 is building a screened-in porch. However, it is such a big expenditure when we never know if we are staying or going.


The plan for now is to stay another year. We completed the baby's room and really would like for him to be in a good schedule/routine before we consider moving again.


This house is wonderful and we love it. We have invested time and energy into making it our home. There have been many fond memories, along with some hardships. And that's part of what makes a home--the experiences that we have in it.


38 weeks on Thursday!!!! Since being off bedrest, most days I typically have a mixed 'feeling.' I typically wake feeling groggy, not rested, and sore. Mid-morning through afternoon, I perk up and feel pretty good. And in the afternoon/evening, typically am sore from moving around that I moan and groan with every movement. If I rest during that time, I sometimes have another spurt of energy around 9-10pm.


I am making VERY SIMPLE meals, with Matt's help. Usually they are partially already made up or something from the freezer. I am grateful that my freezer was well-stocked. I have soups, frozen fruits and veggies, gluten-free bread, jams, meats, etc. I am carting Lily around a little in my vehicle. I can usually go somewhere during the day, as long as it doesn't require too much walking. (For instance, today I went to the eye doctor.)


Lily is an amazing help. She loves to prove that she is "big enough." Today, she had a couple of library books to return. I wasn't feeling well. She talked me into allowing her to go from the car to the return box. She said she could put the books into the book return by herself. I wasn't certain she could do it, but she did. I was proud of her, she was excited, and it was AMAZING to benefit from the freedom of allowing her to do it.


Matt is "nesting." He did the same thing with Lily. He nested and I didn't. He keeps asking me to make a list of everything I'd like done before the baby comes. And he wants it done! It is adorable. I love that about him.


Praying that this baby will come on May 22, 23, or 24. (The 25th is the full moon. Lily was a full moon baby.) It would be great if he came right before Memorial Day weekend. Matt could have the long weekend at home with us without having to take time off of work. And I would also love it if he arrived during the week, knowing that I would have higher odds of my doctor being around to deliver. At any rate, we are ready for his arrival.

Reality check = BABY!?!?!?

The reality that we are going to have a BABY is setting in....We have forgotten what it is like. Lily is independent and we love it. She eats, gets dressed, plays, brushes her teeth, puts her shoes on, packs (she is a great suitcase packer!), can play with the neighbor kids: all by herself. She can even get her own snacks. Her favorite thing right now is to get an apple out of the fridge and rinse it off all by herself. She can even tell time. I will hear her say, "Mom it is 12:20. It is time to leave for school!" She knows what time it is and what time her events start. I have been told that for a four year old this is not normal. It is "above average." She is capable of so much.



And, then, we realize that we are starting over. We are going back to basics here soon. Changing diapers, feedings, getting baby dressed, etc. We have forgotten it. In fact, Matt and I are both a little nervous about caring for a baby and all that it entails. We haven't had to clip a carseat in the car in years. No strollers or pacifiers. We haven't been woken up in the middle of the night often. Lily talks to us. We haven't gotten the privilege of figuring out why a baby is crying.



People say we will pick it right back up.....I hope so.....



I am looking forward to holding this sweet baby. And I hope that caring for him is a greater joy than expected. With Lily, I took it for granted. And I didn't know what I was doing. And I had to back to work. With this little man, I am hoping that in the middle of the night when I am dog-tired that I remember how long we have waited for his arrival. I hope I remember all the trials and losses that we have gone through to have the privilege of holding him. I hope I am praising God when he cries, eats, and dirties diapers regularly. For, we know what it is not to hear our child cry, eat, or soil a diaper. Therefore, I am praying that Matt and I will re-adjust well and quickly to having a newborn. Soon, he will be here!!! I am 37 weeks today.



Lily had a huge day yesterday. Thanks to a friend, she got to go to BSF; Matt took a half day and went to the zoo with her class; We then ventured up to Auburn to see Lucy; then had dinner at Kiki's. Fun day for all. Attached is a pic of Lucy and Lily together.

Up.....Kind of

People keep asking me if I am officially off bedrest. It is a complicated answer:) Doctor and I have not officially had the conversation......He ended up delivering a baby last week during my appointment time. Truthfully, I am exhausted if I am up much. However, I am starting to get stronger. Carrying around this big belly while attempting to do a few things has been a challenge. My back and abdomen muscles are not used to doing much. They have gotten a tad lazy....Doctor had mentioned waiting to rebuild. However, I have things to do:) and I want to be strong enough to deliver and take care of this baby. SO, I am not pushing hard, but I am up doing a few more things. I typically do something, then I rest for awhile; do something, rest, etc. At the end of the day, I am so tired from being up more than normal, that I am sleeping better than most people do toward the end of the pregnancy. (YAY! There is good in the rebuilding!!!!)



I was explaining to Matt last week that I felt like I had to make a daily choice. I either DO something "fun" or DO housework. I do not have energy for both. I was feeling this inner tug of war. Matt knows me well enough and is selfless enough to encourage me to do the fun stuff while I can. I am grateful not to be tied to the housework. After the baby, I will be tied down to taking care of him and the needs of my family.



I am doing a few fun things here and there. And I am taking care of a few things before baby comes (like going to eye appointment). I got an ear infection, so that required a doctor's appointment too. (I didn't have a cold or any drainage and got an ear infection--bizarre!!!) I have not taken any antibiotics the entire time I was pregnant and am planning on keeping it that way. Praying this ear infection goes away so I don't have to be on meds.



If I am up for long, I do have contractions for a little while. Then, they go away.



LUCY ROSE POST was born this morning. Am excited to go see her tomorrow (one of my 'fun' activities). A healthy niece has arrived!!! Lily, Matt, and I are thrilled!!! It will be fun to have Lucy and Baby Boy Morris close in age. A picture of my grandma, dad, brother, and baby Lucy is below.



Not cooking much yet. We are piecing together meals. We have some things in the freezer that we pull out or grill or do something very easy. I miss cooking and am looking forward to the day I get to try some of the recipes I have cut out. Doubt that I will be walking the grocery aisles til after this little guy arrives either! Need to be able to walk around the block first. May attempt walking around the block in the next couple of weeks, if I am still pregnant.



Lily's birthday celebrations will start next week. We have have planned to do fun activities with her for a whole week, just in case the baby comes early. We have several surprises in store and a few things that she is aware of such as her birthday party. Looking forward to it, but know it will be about all I do for that whole week!

Makeup and below the surface (35 weeks!!!!!)

Got myself ready for my doctor's appointment today. I typically do my hair, put on a little makeup, put "real" clothes on (instead of sweatpants). I am waiting for it to be time to leave. And then, I realize--I didn't put on makeup! I am used to not wearing ANY that I didn't think about applying it when I was upstairs. The question then becomes, do I make my way upstairs (something we are told not to do much on bedrest) and apply makeup or do I eliminate it all together?



5 more days of bedrest. That's right. FIVE more days until I am (mostly)released from this 12 week journey. This week, I have been doing a few things that I wouldn't normally do. The girl that does my hair offered to come to our house and hilite my hair. Thankfully, we did not do a cut this week because at the end of the hilite, I had to venture up the stairs to take a shower. At the end of that, I WAS EXHAUSTED. No contractions or complications. Just plain tired. I could hardly move. My muscles have atrophied and whittled away to virtually nothing.



I have an exercise band that I have been working with. However, sometimes it would get my heart-rate going too much and I would start contracting or having other issues. Therefore, I have mainly used it for stretching my legs. Last night I did a few yoga poses. I am going to attempt to use my band and do yoga poses faithfully for the next 5-12 days. (And more thereafter)



I remember the overwhelming feeling after having Daisy. Almost everything I would think about doing by myself was overwhelming. It sounds ridiculous, but it is the same last time as I am finding this time. Just considering going somewhere by myself: driving there, being there, driving myself home. OVERWHELMING!!! The thought of making a recipe with more than 4 ingredients: OVERWHELMING. The thought of walking through a store: OVERWHELMING! The thought of walking around the block with Lily: OVERWHELMING. Places with lots of people and/or lots of commotion (church, playgrounds) OVERWHELMING. We have people that have been helping us in various ways and are in and out every day. However, it takes time to re-adjust to those 'normal' activities. As I recall from the last time, once I regain energy, face it, and then do the overwhelming tasks/activities, it lessens the magnitude of the 'control' it has over my mind and body. Last time, I had the task of overcoming many more physical restraints (like major blood loss) and grief. I am hoping this time, the rebound rate will be much quicker.....



Once I am at 36 weeks, if I go into labor, I go into labor. However, my doctor would prefer if I made it to 37. (Half of baby boys born at 36 weeks still go to the NICU!) So, even though I am going to attempt to be up a little bit more in the next 12 days, I will still probably limit my activities quite a bit. I probably will not be driving much, grocery shopping, etc. There is definitely strategy in rebuilding without going into labor!!!!



My brother and sister-in-law are having their baby in a few days. We will be adding another little girl to the Post Family. I am looking forward to meeting the new Miss Post. They are coming down (from Auburn) to see us this weekend. I am excited to see them. Next time we meet, we will have at least one new family member!



I am hoping/praying for this little man's arrival to be a healing moment. The birth of a healthy full-term baby will be something we have waited for for several years. However, I am aware that it will not take the pain, loss, sorrow away. In fact, the last couple of days, it has hit home with me....I still long for Daisy. I still would love to hold her in my arms. I still wish I had my little girl. This baby does not replace her. Nor does he take away the heartache or longing. He is still in my mind a redemption baby. I am looking forward to meeting him and starting a life including him in our family. And I am hoping that his presence in our lives will aid in some of the continual process of healing.



Starting to fear and have some normal uneasiness about the upcoming labor/delivery. Never know what we will be going through at the hospital. We expect the unknown. We hope for the best. I have been addressing/confessing my fears regularly and asking for God to replace it with peace. Peace that we will be accepting with His best.

Never mind my manners........

You know you are really, really pregnant when you ignore your natural inhibitions and eat straight out of the fridge. YES, today I found myself opening the fridge, getting a container out, putting it on the island, using a fork (it was the least I could do), eating right out of the container. The fridge door was still open. And things taste better. I couldn't stop eating the food because it tasted so good and I am pretty much a bottomless pit. HAHA. I could not stop myself. I kept eating and eating. I would think, "one more bite" "oh, one more." The funny thing is is that a person brought the food and it was supposed to be part of our dinner. I finally exercised self-control and put it away. But, I am still thinking about it. And I am still hungry. Not a good combination......Hopefully Matt gets home soon! If not, we may be ordering dinner:) HAHA!

Nuggets of Truth

The LORD gives little nuggets of truth, inspiration, peace when I am in the midst of anything. It seems as though biblical truths pertain to us directly. Sometimes I have read a passage before and sometimes I have not. Sometimes I notice a different nugget of the same verse or sometimes I remember the verse before or after it, but I don't recall the verse that pertains this time around. I love the way that the verses speak to us through the HOLY SPIRIT at different times in our lives.



Below is the verse that I came across yesterday. I emailed it to some of you because I loved how pertinent it was. Before I give the verse, I must confess that I went into the doctor's office early yesterday (before my scheduled appointment). I was having such horrific pain. It wasn't contractions, but it was constant pain that brought tears! I honestly thought I was going to end up in the hospital. We figured out that the baby was on a nerve/pressure point. Once we got him off that nerve, I was fine! (exhausted from the excruciating pain that lasted hours and a little embarrassed that it wasn't more serious as the pain had indicated, but fine) So when I got home and read the verse I was encouraged that the craziness of our every day lives is not in vain, but does have a purpose.



Ecclesiastes 5:11

"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things."

Another version says at the end: "so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."

It correlates well with Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."



We may not understand it, but we know that it is for HIS good. I do not know why I am on bedrest or why I have pregnancy hiccups happening constantly (I am not being overly dramatic or being a hypochondriac) or why my grandma is dying when I cannot visit her or why a friend's marriage is rocky, ETC. BUT I do know that God is orchestrating it all and it is for his glory.



This pregnancy despite its struggles has been such a redemption. A redemption of many aspects of our lives. And once this little man is here. The redemption is going to be even greater. I am starting tire of being pregnant and ready to meet this (still nameless) little guy. Sounds like I have a definitive answer of 3 more weeks of bedrest. I am 33 weeks and would be 36 weeks at that time. If I go into labor at 36 weeks, my doctor would not stop it. And therefore, we have 2 weeks and 5 more days of this living situation. Truthfully, as I have stated previously, Matt and I are worried about my strength level after the 36 mark. I still don't know if I will be able to go to the grocery, attend many social outings, make dinner, etc. But as HE has done all along, I know that God will provide a person that will call and offer themselves. The person that does our grocery shopping was going to be gone this coming Friday. I knew I needed to ask someone to help. On Friday morning, a sweet lady that we know from Blackhawk Ministries (our former church) called and offered to do some errands for me. I didn't have to worry about it-God had someone in mind that was going to call and offer. These are not coincidences! How amazing are HIS works?



PS If you know someone in a situation similar and don't know what to do to help: I have figured out the best thing anyone can do is call them once a week. (Put it on your calendar because you will have a good intention of doing it, but may not remember to do it.) Offer something specific: Dinner, errands, transporting kids, watching kids, grocery, Starbucks, etc. If you are going to Target, call and offer to get them the things they need at Target. You don't have to go way out of your way.........The people that call, text, email on a consistent basis are the ones that are the most helpful. One week I may not need something from Target, Walgreens, Sam's Club, but the next, I do! That's been my experience/observation.

33 weeks

Lily falls asleep listening to "10,000 Reasons" or her new favorite song, "Hosanna." She also likes Taylor Swift's song, "Call me Maybe."

Her prayer the other night was this, "Dear Jesus, Thank you for everyone but the bad mans. I'm serious about that, Jesus." Matt said he was (quietly) laughing so hard that her bed was shaking (He was lying on her bed as they prayed). He was worried she would ask him why the bed was shaking and he didn't want to tell her that he was laughing at her prayer.

Lily is such a joy. I love her and am grateful that her heart is sweet.

33 weeks today!!!! My belly is getting "huger" every day. And third trimester has set it with its aches, pains, discomfort, sleeplessness, etc. (And the very loud thunderstorms are not helping with the sleeplessness!) Some days I am starving; other days I am hungry, but can hardly eat. Not sure what is the deal with that. Feeling ready to be done with pregnancy, but have a couple of months yet......

Ordered Lily's birthday invitations. Age 5 is coming up! She is very excited about being 5. She is reading. I have bought some I CAN READ books and she is flying through them. I have given her two and she has them down pat. I have several more. I was hoping to save them until her birthday, but she is such a book worm that I may not be able to contain them. I may end up giving them to her. She cherishes both of them and reads them every night. We check on her before we go to bed. Every night since I gave them to her, she is asleep with them on her lap.

There are several dresses that I would like to have, but don't see any point in ordering.....Once I am no longer pregnant, I still won't be my normal size. It would be months before I get to actually try them on to see if they are going to fit. Not to mention, dresses have gotten expensive. And for these reasons, I have not ordered them.....I have a few bathing suits that I have my eye on too. However, feeling as there is no point! Need to wear the cover up the "fat" suits for the summer! Maybe I should just order some shoes (not my favorite thing to shop for.)

Hoping that baby's nursery will be painted this weekend. And then the real fun starts: putting it all together! Ordered and received diapers and wipes. Have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Think I am going to beg to be off full bedrest. And also, I am going to ask them to not schedule any more ultrasounds. From 34 weeks on, I am hoping things will go smoothly-no need for ultrasounds. I am still having contractions, but they don't seem to be putting me into full-blown labor.

Bedrest is a continual process of self-denial. Everything from not helping around the house (it is hard not to help when dishwasher needs unloaded, food needs made, Lily needs help, things pile up). Self-denial can come in different forms such as wanting tea or something (chocolate souffles, soup, lemon pie, deviled eggs, fish tacos) homemade and not asking for it. Since Matt is already doing so much, I feel as though I should limit my requests. Self-control can be not going upstairs to check out the baby's nursery when Matt is working on it or saying no to Lily when she is asking me to make her a smoothie. Emotionally, it is draining. Emotionally, my heart breaks when I have to ask for help for a simple task such as filling up my own water or tell Lily no for something I would normally be glad to do. I am looking forward to these moments minimizing themselves. I am looking forward to going to Target, church, the lake, my grandma's/friend's, Starbucks, the grocery, the park. AND I HARDLY CAN WAIT to eat out at a restaurant. Club Soda, Henry's, Biaggi's oh how I miss thee!

Even if I do get off bedrest in the next 2 weeks, I am too pregnant to be moving around too quickly! Because I have been down so much, my strength is shot. I am so weak. I know that I will regain it. However, I am starting to wonder how I will even be able to carry an 8 pound baby up the stairs several times a day.

April 15th is coming upon us. Dad is almost done with his busy-est season. I have only seen a glimpse of him a few times since Christmas.

I have been having contractions since Saturday evening. UGH! Of course, one of the few times I cannot get them calmed, my doctor is out of town. I honestly didn't think (and I don't think the doctor did either) that I would have problems this week. I haven't had a bout of contractions since February. I have had a few here and there, but nothing continual that wouldn't stop. Ended up making a doctor's appointment for today. Thankfully my doctor had thrown out a few names of other doctors that practiced similarly to himself. They did an(another) ultrasound. Everything looks okay....Guess my body is prepping itself for the real thing. It is truly confusing. Some of my earlier contractions did effect my cervix. Therefore, when should I be concerned? When should I just ignore them and stay on the sofa? 4 days of contractions and they are not doing anything major to the cervix....Anxious for my doctor to get back. Seeing a new doctor was fine, but it will be nice to have my own doctor back to consult with.

Baby's room is continually in progress. Still trying to decide on a paint color.

People bringing meals has ceased. So far, we have done okay. Matt's mom sends things periodically. Matt makes easy meals, as long as I have the ingredients on hand. And our babysitter is willing to help cook on Fridays when she is here. She is great about prepping things ahead too. And thankfully, we have a few things left in our freezer that are made up. And of course, Matt is capable of picking things up. I truly MISS COOKING! I wish I could just do it myself.....

Picture on the right is of Lily and Matt on Easter. The other one is today. She was so stylish (and yes, she uses that word). I had to take a picture!

PS Funniest thing Lily has said recently, "I cannot eat my pasta! The noodles are too tangled!" She was upset, shrill, adamant. Once her pasta was cut into pieces, she ate it.....OCD??

Baby Land

Getting ready for a new baby is a big undertaking (especially when relying on everyone else to do most of the work)! It has been unusually big for us this time and there are several reasons for it. Lily moved rooms, we are going from a girl to a boy, there will have been 5 years between Lily and this baby (all of the baby stuff has been stored in the basement and needs cleaned, organized, etc). We received baby clothes from my sister-in-law, so we have been going through those. And then there is the fact that I am on bedrest and must not "shop" for diapers, accessories, decorations, etc via the store. I do it all online. And actually, most of the time that's easier.....I search, click, and it is delivered. However, we have so much STUFF going out, so much STUFF moving rooms, so much STUFF arriving, so much STUFF to wash and find a new place for. It is somewhat ridiculous and almost makes me feel gluttonous.

Because the STUFF is getting to me (and my closets are filthy), Bea and I continue to clean out/purge closets. She is the best! I lie on the bed. She empties out closets and puts them on the bed. I make piles of give away, sell, throw away. She redistributes them to the appropriate area. It has been MARVELOUS! She mentioned the other day that once the baby gets here I will feel so good about taking the time I need with him because our house is organized and at least that will not be hanging over my head. I think she is right!!! Drawer by drawer; closet by closet we are creating a serene environment for us to live in after baby is born!



Had my weekly checkup. Baby looks BIG! His face took up the whole screen (it used to be that you could see his whole body on the screen) and is becoming vivid. It makes me excited to meet this little man. My hopes continue to grow. It will be a huge celebration when we welcome this baby into our family. It is still somewhat surreal. I think I will be on bedrest for a few more weeks. Am feeling a little bit freer to get up a bit. (Freer meaning I feel more confident to answer the door, help in the kitchen, drive myself to the doctor, make simple foods) I know I still need to be careful though. I am not YET going out to eat, attending church, taking Lily to school, doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, etc. Today starts week 31. My doctor put it something like this--we are moving from talking about the odds of survival to talking about the amount of time he would have to stay in the NICU. Meaning, soon we will not be talking about whether or not he will live or what his odds of disabilities are, but we will soon be talking about how long he may have to stay at the hospital.............That in and of itself will be a wonderful change of topic. Every week dr. and I discuss odds, precautions, pains, options, etc. Again, it is surreal that soon we will not have to think about those horrible odds any more.

Continuing to stay positive. Continuing to praise the LORD for his mercy. Continuing to ask HIM for a healthy baby!

PS I am making up for the not gaining much weight comment I made. I gained around 6 pounds in 12 days.....YIKES! Time to stop eating chocolate cake!

Doctor's update

Quick update for now. Doctor's appointment was today. Everything is still looking great, all things considered. Bedrest is still necessary....

Nameless Baby Boy is measuring 3lbs; 8 oz. He is still measuring a little big every week. I think it will still be a May baby. Mid May. Hopefully not Lily's birthday. She's already been having a fit about not wanting us to be at the hospital on her birthday. Worse things can happen, but to her it is a huge deal!

Third trimester symptoms have kicked in. Unable to get comfortable, lots of back pain, etc. However, I am really not complaining because this baby is still safe inside!

I have not gained much weight. Therefore, this baby doesn't have much room to move around. Between this week and last I gained 2 1/2 pounds though.....Maybe 3rd trimester will fatten me up. I am more hungry, so that is likely.

I cannot seem to "keep up" even on bedrest. Somehow my days fly by!

Lily's new closet got installed this week. It looks fabulous! Will have to post some pictures after her room is complete.

Lily has been asking very detailed questions about babies, nursing, etc. She knows much more than I did when I was pregnant for her! Filtering some of it is challenging. She keeps asking more and more questions even if Matt and I think we've covered it. She loves to know how things work.........

If you come to our house for any reason.....

I will probably be on my sheet-covered sofa in the front room. There will be piles of stuff all around me. If Lily is home, there will be at least one pair of scissors on the coffee table, along with tape and construction paper. She thinks it is crucial for me to have an animal or baby watching me, so there will more than likely be a baby sitting next to me on the sofa.

I will not have makeup on. My hair may or may not be done. And done I mean not standing up. Washing my hair at this point is a "big" deal. I will be in sweats. My belly will be hidden underneath a large sweatshirt/sweater that I probably am ashamed that I still own.

There is a trashcan now located next to the sofa so that I have a place for trash. Bea (and Matt) didn't like that trash was accumulating on the table and floor.

Next to me, I typically have my house phone, cell phone, iPad, tv remote, laptop, pens, paper, tissues, a book, half-read magazines, folder accumulating recipes to try, pillows, and a blanket or two. (OH, and I also have a hidden stash of chocolate sitting here!)

If you come to our house, the kitchen sink may be piled full of dishes. The glass on the table may or may not be wiped off from previous meal's scraps. The counter-tops and floors may have crumbs covering them.

If you come to our house, you are welcome. And although I may joke about the accumulating messes, I know that this is temporary. Truly, Matt keeps the house cleaner than most husbands even attempt. Lily is constantly trying to make me feel better with crafts, cards, babies, and stuffed animals. And so, I must accept them graciously, even though it means more stuff around my ever-growing self.

If you come to our house, it may be messy, but I am content. I am content in my mess because I still have a baby in my huge-r(that's what Lily calls it-HUGE-R) belly. And, I am content because God's provided us with so many people that come to our house to help and chat. And if there are people because they care, I am touched.

I know not everyone has time to call or come (and I don't expect them to), bring a meal or visit. But there have been an overwhelming amount of people that God has nudged to come. We are grateful for the ways that God's provision is keeping this little one safe and our family well-cared for.

Pictures

28 weeks; 1 day. Truly a great milestone.

I remember when I was pregnant with Daisy that my doctor told me once the baby is viable 24, 28, and 32 weeks were huge milestones. (37 being the ultimate goal) And every day in the womb is important. I am so excited to be at a second major milestone.

Every day I gain a tiny bit more hope. And I wish the fear dissipated a little more, but it doesn't. Since we have friends that had a stillborn baby, I don't believe that I will truly rejoice about having a baby until this baby is healthy and in my arms for the first time.

This week was a rough one. Bea, who normally cleans our house, and my Friday babysitter was sick. Both of them have many responsibilities that I count on around our house. Without Bea, my house is DIRTY! And she keeps things picked up moving, so I miss her dearly if she isn't here. And today's sitter was sick too. She has been going to the grocery, making food, caring for Lily, running errands.....WIthout them here this week, we have all been a little extra tense, feeling the weight of it all going on Matt and Mom's shoulders. Matt has been working endlessly (and will continue the whole weekend). Lily has been a little anxious--her tummy has been hurting every time her new routine gets changed. We all need to be flexible, as other people help. However, I am reminded how important routine is. It keeps the stress level to a minimum when emotions are already high (for kids and adults).

Not sure what it is due to, but I have been having breathing issues. Possibly anxiety, possibly hormones, possibly medication, possibly baby infringing on my lungs. Doctor isn't sure. Please pray for my breathing to regulate itself.

Lily got into Blackhawk Christian School's Kindergarten program. We visited in early December. We applied in January. And Thursday Matt had an interview with the administrator. And while he was doing that, Lily was tested to see if she was ready. She answered every question correctly--shapes, colors, numbers, comprehension, etc! The teacher gave her a Clifford book. I will attach a picture. SHE IS SO EXCITED TO GO! As she was leaving the school she told her teacher that she didn't want to leave! Love her desire to learn and her appreciation for education. She enjoys learning.

Logistics

One question that many people ask is whether I have gotten bored yet. Although I truly do not enjoy lying around all day, I somehow do not get that bored. Sure, I have my moments of not knowing what to do next, but overall, I keep fairly 'busy.' By the time I read my Bible and fictional books, go through mail, look at the magazines I didn't have time to go through before, eat, get Lily ready for the day, take my shower, order things we need via the internet, talk on the phone (one of my biggest past-times), text, email, coordinate Lily's schedule, play with Lily, go to my weekly doctor's visit, visit with the people that are here helping in one form or another, it makes for a full day! Keeping the logistics straight is almost a full time job. I am typically exhausted and ready for bed when 10pm rolls around.

There has definitely been an adjustment period for Matt, Lily and me. Matt has much more on his shoulders. Lily has also been asked to complete more tasks around the house that she doesn't normally do. For instance, she puts the clean silverware away, folds washcloths, sets the table before dinner. She has been testing the new boundaries. Discipline has gotten a little bit more rigid since she is testing us. Matt and I are staying strong and on the same page. It seems to be helping.

Bea helped me clean out the playroom closet last week, which will soon become Lily's new bedroom. It feels so good to have that closet cleaned! A weight off my shoulders. Bea took everything out of the closet and put it onto our king sized bed. I sat on the corner of the bed and sorted, pitched, purged, made giveaway piles. It was a hodgepodge of stuff! Matt and his dad painted her new room on Saturday. It is a pale blue. Very pretty. It will compliment her new bedding very well. Her new closet will probably go in next week. Then, it will be getting her bed set up and all her clothes moved over to the new closet. AND THEN, we have to start on baby boy's room......Oh, I think of all the stuff that needs done and my head spins. I am 27 weeks and a few days (every day counts). I keep thinking, I only have 13 weeks to complete this (if that). 13 weeks seems like a long time, but when I can't do much of it and I am counting on Matt, family and friends, it is quite a bit to complete! I am trying to keep in mind that it doesn't need to be "perfect" or even "done" in order for a baby to come home. And truly, I do know that. However, sometimes I think the nesting instinct takes over and I desire things to be ready for this little man. We have been waiting for a baby's healthy/normal homecoming for years and it would be nice to have it all put together before that happens. God is in control...........

Been watching Blackhawk's Bible Hour on TV on Sundays. One thing Kelly Byrd challenged everyone with was to erase the words FATE, LUCK, and DESTINY from our vocab.

G'ma isn't doing well. I hardly can bear to know she is suffering. She has good days and bad days.

Still no set baby's name. Had a list. Widdled it down. And then we keep adding to it. Girl names are plentiful. But we are having a boy. Boys names are harder. So, this child is nameless still for now.

Funny Lily story: I had said a couple of times that the baby had kicked my bladder so I needed to go to the bathroom. The other day I was on my way to the bathroom. Lily asked, "Did the baby kick your filter again?" She's been saying it ever since!

Last, but not least, we have recently had to change our important bedtime matters to only allowing Lily to come down if it is an EMERGENCY! She seemed to always have important matters to discuss.........And there are still plenty of emergencies every night:)

Important Bedtime Matters

I debated on whether or not to create a chore chart for Lily. I finally decided with all the extra things that I have been asking her to do, it may be a good idea. Plus, she has been saving her money towards an Easy Bake Oven (help!) so she may have some motivation in helping around the house.........It has been mildly successful. Some days she is all about getting her chores accomplished and other days she is not interested. I share this because I am posting a picture of the chore chart she made me. Notice I got a star on every single item. From left to right: A picture of a toilet, a plate of dinner, drinking water, and lastly the sofa with a pillow on the right side. Yes, those four activities about sum up what I do every day on bedrest!!! HAHAHA!



The second Lily story that I have to document is one from the other night. After we put her to bed, she has suddenly gotten into the habit of coming downstairs to ask us questions, ask for help with something, tell us she loves us. Just about every excuse in the book she has come up with already. So, one night, Matt told her that she needed to stay in bed unless she needed something REALLY IMPORTANT. A few minutes later, she came bounding down the steps. She said, "Daddy, I am not sure what is important and what isn't. I have something that I think is important, but I am not sure. But I really want to show you this because I think it is important." Matt graciously asked her what it was. She ran upstairs, got her American Girl catalog, and came back downstairs. She said, "I want to add this to my birthday list. It is a baby ther-monitor so that I can hear my babies when they wake up in the middle of the night." (it was a baby monitor not thermometer) Matt said it was definitely important and that we would add it to her birthday list...............And what could we say, it was important to her!!!!

The next night, she came down in a tizzy. She was breathing hard and about ready to cry. She said, "Daddy, I lost a piece to my stethoscope (she has a real one) and if I don't have it I can't do the check-ups on my babies. They are sick! I need help finding the piece to the stethoscope! IT IS IMPORTANT!!!!"

Oh, my girl is full of drama......

Starting to think about baby's room. I ordered some bedding in January and it is (finally) arriving. Considering ordering the rug and a couple other items. It is a delicate decision. I held off ordering Daisy's bedding since we didn't know how it would all turn out. And I am glad I did hold off......This time, there is a piece of me that wants to go ahead and order the rug and other pieces. And Matt would like to start painting.....Lily's current bedroom will be the baby's room. And if you've seen Lily's room, you know it is PINK. PINK, PINK, PINK!!!! Even a pink ceiling:) SO, we do need to start working on it. Lily's new room needs a paint job too. If my husband wasn't such a good painter, I would say we should hire it done....And maybe we should still consider it. But the point I am getting at is that I am hesitant to go ahead with it. I still feel very at peace with this bedrest situation I am in. I feel as though this baby is redemptive. SO, maybe in faith, I should order the rest of his room and ask Matt to start picking up paint colors.......

Amazon is my new friend. I am so grateful that we have "PRIME" so we have free shipping on most items. They ship and arrive within 48 hours. Needless to say, we receive something about every day. If I need soap, gifts, books, dry good foods, etc, I have been ordering it online. It has been a wonderful option for us.

Hebrews 9:27 has been on my heart. Thanks to my friend who relocated it again for me..... 27 Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, 28 so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

I am finding that there are many truths in Hebrews that explained. I keep returning to Hebrews and am wondering if I should just start at Hebrews 1 and read the whole book.

I am sleeping better. Thank you, LORD! I don't sleep as many hours, but the sleep I am getting is fairly restful.

Contractions are still prevalent. If I am up more than a few times, they start in. Hard to gauge how much is too much. Ultraounds so far are staying in the 'safe-range' (after it bounced back from that original scare). However, as I am realizing, I will probably be on bedrest until I am okayed to deliver this baby. The risk is too great otherwise. Things can change too quickly (and I have history of preterm) and since I am having labor-starting contractions, I am down.

Lily's funny vocab: Disney is still Bisney; cages she calls caves; undergarments for girls are boobie-holders; suggested is subbgested.

She reminds me on a consistent basis that I am getting "bigger." I am attempting not to overeat/watch my calorie intake. I do not want to gain too much this time! With inactivity, it is a tad more of a challenge. Trying to eat lots of fruits, veggies, proteins. Trying not to eat too much sugar or carbs.

With Valentine's Day approaching, we are doing our best to make Lily's day special. Going to surprise her with a new Valentine books and Mom and Matt are helping me pull off a few other surprises, along with a couple of their own. She is SOOOO into holidays. She makes Valentine cards for everyone that walks in the door and loves buying gifts for people. Her love language is looking like it is giving/gifting.

Lily LOVES homemade pancakes from scratch, gymnastics, school, crafts, painting, being read to, strawberries, chocolate, baking, cooking, dates with her daddy, games, babies, doll babies, her stuffed animals, and she got introduced to Oreos today. Of course, she loves those too. My little girl loves life. I love that she loves it. As long as she is DOING, she is happy. She even enjoys 'chores.'

24 weeks; almost 25

Our church body has encompassed us with love, prayer, concern, and meals (meaning both the church that we attend and the whole church too). In the sense of the church body that attend, Matt said every time he walked a few steps at church yesterday someone was asking how I was doing; how we were all holding up. We are so grateful for the place that we have become a part of. It is mostly people our age. And with our age group comes LOTS of little kids. Lily LOVES attending Sunday morning and has made wonderful friends that she adores. We dropped in for a visit a couple of years ago to this little body of believers and never left. We felt immediately at home. It almost has the feel of my great grandma's church in the middle of the country. And it is only 2 minutes from our house, which is an added bonus since we feel strongly about attending a church that is near us in proximity. My heart sings that God placed us in such a special place.

As far as the pregnancy, things are "status quo." As long as I stay down, I do not have contractions. If I move around too much, I start to feel it. I am taking one day at a time. Medications are making me a little crazy. Side effects are really no fun. However, I am okay with the side effects that I have to endure. It could be worse...........

Daisy was born at 23 weeks; 6 days. I am grateful to be past that point. Every day is a mini sigh of relief. Every day is a gift from our Father. Thursday I will be 25 weeks and I am so looking forward to that number! 25 will mean we have surpassed such a mental hurdle.

Baby is healthy and strong. He moves around more than Lily or Daisy did. He is a happy baby:) Looking forward to meeting him...In May. Hopefully not much sooner. But I feel as though God has given me a peace. A strong sense that this baby will be born full term. So, I continue to trust that God's plan is that.

Still working on names for this little man. We have dwindled our list down to 12 or so, which is still so many!!! Just not sure. Waiting for the Lord to work and for a name to really stick out to both of us. Lily's middle name changed during the last few days of my pregnancy due to God's provision. A few things happened and Matt and I landed on a middle name for her. I think we will just continue to wait.

Last Thursday night I had a mini breakdown (a pity party). I hadn't been anywhere in approximately 2 weeks and was just so overwhelmed with a need to get out. Since everything was calm on Saturday, we made a big trip (I was nervous to go) to Auburn.I put my seat back all the way. We visited my grandma whom recently got diagnosed with an incurable cancer. I had a desire to see her and talk to her. I want to talk to her as much as I can when she is still able to, and not succumbed by medication or pain. It was a good visit. I was really tired afterward, but refreshed due to new surroundings.

And the biggest surprise came on Sunday. Aunt Dusti showed up on my doorstep. She was supposed to be skiing with her family in Europe! Mom and I had a little suspicion that something was going on due to a call we had received confirming appointment, etc. But it was still was a nice surprise having our suspicions become reality. She spent the afternoon with our family before surprising Mom and Grandma later last night. I am hoping that sometime this week, Grandma, Mom, Dusti, Lily and I can all convene. I am not sure what that will look like since Grandma is housebound in Auburn and I am housebound in Fort Wayne, but I am working on it in my mind.....Hoping to propose something!

Praying that Lily, Matt and I avoid the flu. I have this bizarre fear of it.

Praying that I use my time wisely on bedrest. You would think you'd be bored out of your mind while lying around all day. Somehow, the days usually go fast. Between emailing, calls, people in and out picking Lily up for school, dropping off meals, resting, keeping lists organized, Lily entertaining me with crafts and stories, a little tv, packaging recipe cards, reading my book, working on BSF questions, making Lily and I breakfast and lunch, paying bills, and coordinating it all, I stay somewhat busy.

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 has been put in my life 2 times this last week. It is about relaying God's works in our lives and also his commands to our children as we do our every day tasks.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates

Life is an upside down cake

Sweet, moist, comforting, delicious, precious cake; and then it is turned upside down. It is still a scrumptious cake, but it looks a tad bit different. And when it is upside down, you never really know what you are going to be getting when you take a bite. Why the crazy analogy? I have this sweet, innocent little man growing inside of me and my body doesn't pregnancy for some reason. My pregnancy with Lily was easy going. I was exhausted every day, but other than that, it was good.

The last couple pregnancies have been difficult. This one that we are in currently has been status quo and we were all getting so excited. In fact, my doctor had just cleared me for take-off. Literally. We were headed to Florida for a whole week.....

Last week, I started contracting and after a couple of days of monitoring, the results were not good. Our OB put me on strict bedrest for the weekend. After a few days of medication and being horizontal, the contractions calmed. I was praying for a miracle. Something I didn't think could happen: that my cervix would bounce back. And guess what....it did. Praise God! A little bit at least. Truly a miracle at this point in the pregnancy! However, I am still on bedrest. The doctor did lift the restrictions a tiny bit. I can now take a shower, help Lily with a quick breakfast and lunch. I am still housebound for the time being. We are waiting it out to see if they return as I complete the small tasks of life that I have been okayed to do as long as I am not having contractions, that is.

We are praying fervently that God will still allow us a healthy baby boy. One that will live a full life on earth. One that is healthy functioning child.

Friends are pitching in. Thank you LORD for your people! Friends, family, housekeeper, and my wonderful husband are all going above and beyond. They are radiating God's glory by sacrificing time and effort. I am blown away at such a wonderful support system that God has graciously provided once again. God knows what he is doing and we are hanging on for the ride.

Yesterday I just happened to open my Bible (in all my spare time) up to Hebrews 12. It says,

4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a] 7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. 12 Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13 “Make level paths for your feet,”[b] so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

What a good reminder. God is continuing to discipline me:) and if we are faithful through that, there is a chance that we will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace.

If you are reading this and feel prompted, here are some prayer requests: Our overall health/avoidance of flu and cold bugs--Matt, Lily, Me and Baby Our marriage to be strengthened Baby boy's well-being Contractions to cease Sleep--seems like I should have plenty of it, but I can't seem to My grandma's spiritual welfare and dealing with her recent medical news

Lily's one liner

Lily, Matt and I were at Olive Garden for dinner. It was our last hurrah, as Matt is returning to work. We were finishing the meal and the waiter brought our check with three of the chocolate mints. Lily negotiated her way into having all three mints to herself. Since Matt is watching his calories and I cannot have dairy, it was a quickly closed deal. Matt and I were having a conversation. I looked over and saw that Lily was quietly eating her way through the mints (without asking permission to eat them all right then). Matt asked her, "Were you hoping that you could eat all those mints quietly without asking and we wouldn't notice?" She nodded happily with a chocolate-filled mouth. Matt said, "I know your tricks." Lily responded, "Probably not all of my tricks!" We laughed so hard and she thought she was the funniest. Gotta love this age.............