Vocab uses

I am behind on my blog. It has been two months since I last "checked" in. Much has happened.

Henry, my brother's son, turned 1 recently. He also started walking. They sent us a little video clip of it and Lily said, "I want to watch it a hundred times. Can I watch it a hundred times, Mom?" Yes, that's my second point. Lily has started calling us Mom and Dad instead of Mommy and Daddy. It is bittersweet. I miss being called Mommy, but know it is part of the growing up process...She pronounces things more clearly every day also. She has gotten to the point where she uses some of her vocabulary words in new forms. It has had Matt and I laughing undercover many times in the past few weeks. She is trying to explain something and she uses words from her vocab, but they don't always necessary apply to the situation. Two examples: 1) She was in her bathroom with the door closed. When she tried to open the door, the rug got stuck on her stool that sits on the rug and the door. I could hear her struggling a bit to get the door opened, but knew she could do it. When she came out, she came to me and said, "I couldn't get out of the bathroom." I asked her why and she started making circular motions with her hands and said, "The rug was all, all, all.....BLENDED up!" Example 2) She has learned how to cut her banana into pieces and sprinkle her cinnamon and sugar on top. So, the other day I was attempting to let her peel the banana and she said, "I can't get it unwrapped. Can you get it unwrapped, Mom?" It totally means the same thing as peeled, but it is just amazing how their little minds work.

So much more to catch up on. Pics to upload, etc. Will be intentional about adding them soon. I need to document some of these things.

Purging

The first 9 years of our marriage, I feel like I spent my time gathering/collecting items. For the last year or so, I keep randomly purging my house. Many times it has been my closet. I just make a quick (30 min) sweep and anything that I don't feel like I need, want, use anymore goes. The garage sales in our addition are next Thurs, Fri, Sat. I am strongly considering participating (more than likely I will). Therefore, I am making a clean sweep through our entire house. Every cabinet, closet, shelf, etc is getting a good look. Even things that I still LIKE, but don't use are leaving this house. Our house is not cluttered, but I am just sick of stuff. (is this a symptom of loss???) I literally cannot look in another drawer full of things that I do not use for one more week!

There isn't much hesitation in ridding of most items. The three areas that I KNOW I need to get rid of things, but am having a hard time are casserole and decorative dishes, scarves, work clothes.

Work clothes being high on the list.....Not thinking I am going back any time soon. When I worked, I had many cute clothes. However, I have finally decided that IF I ever go back to work, they will probably be outdated. So, out they go.....Blazers (dressy and casual), skirts, shoes, jewelry, etc. OUT, OUT, OUT!

I feel better already, but oh my! Maybe it is just a different stage of life? Being content with less.

Praising GOD for all events...

Lily got her teeth cleaned for the first time yesterday. At first, she was shy and very hesitant. However, Dr. Dan won her over, after many funny sayings and questions. He finally got her to open her mouth so that he could look at her teeth. And then, she allowed the hygienist to clean them with her sugar cookie flavored toothpaste. She did an awesome job!

I am realizing as life goes on that many things can be thrown at us, but little can be as painful as the loss of a child.

I am learning to thank God continually. Today I found myself praising HIM for the silliest things. For instance, thanking him for little things that seem to go my way. It has been a positive thing because I am realizing that HE does deserve all the PRAISE, even for the small events, even when my socks all match up:) (And I am grateful to have an amazing support system. Truly, I have great parents, a couple of really amazing loving friends, an intellectual perceptive Christian counselor, and a wise mentor that I adore.)

I am also re-learning that we are called to praise and thank HIM for our trials.

I Thess 5:16-18 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

James 1: 2-8 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Lily was sick today. I think she has the bug I had a couple of weeks ago. her symptoms are identical. Odd that it takes two weeks to culminate. Mine lasted 3 days, so we are only 1 day down. Kids are so amazingly sweet when they are sick. She cuddled and said little. She said a couple of times, "Mommy, I love you." Guess the vomit doesn't bother me as much when she is just so sweet. We needed a "down" day, so it was good to be home and comfy, especially since it is so cold out.

One other amazing thought for the day: I am down to my PRE-Lily weight! YAY!

Daisy Walk/Run is tomorrow. Looks like it is supposed to be such a beautiful day for it.

Lily's first day of preschool was Wednesday. Lily LOVED it. Her teacher said she talked to her and was telling her all about Peepaw being at the hospital. I told the teacher that she would talk to her all day every day, all year. The teacher was excited because she said some kids don't talk all year long. (Reminds me of my childhood friend....sorry, Em, just had to throw that one in there!)

Matt's dad had heart surgery yesterday. He is finally coming out of it today and seems to be doing as well as can be. He is pain, but because it took him so long to come out of the anesthetic/sedation meds, they won't give him many pain meds until he can swallow them. He is in ICU and has very limited visitation. I have not been in to see him, but Matt and the brothers have. He is with it just enough to have a little conversation.

Most of the family has spent their days at the hospital. I have visited a couple of times, but don't stay long, as I have Lily to contend with. I don't want her to be in the hospital too long.

Peach Cobbler

Pics of Lily from this summer~Peach Cobbler being eaten out of the dish(first pic). It is one of Lily's favorite activities, along with tubing!

Depression

I am realizing how depression truly can be a chemical imbalance. My brain is not right....Ironically when we lost Daisy, I had a long period of true mourning. I also had a very long period of physical recovery. However, I do not think I ever went through a depression like I am combatting now. For the people that deal with it--I am learning alot about them. I am learning that some of it can be dealt with with thought rehab:) Some of it can be helped with exercise and vitamins and rest and eating properly and making yourself do social activities. However, if all else fails, there is a definite need for MEDICINE intervention. As much as I don't want it to be the answer and I am trying to combat it with everything else, I may just have to bite the bullet (or pill) and take it.

Truly, not many people talk much about it, but I do think it is a problem that many women deal with. The more I talk to people, the more I realize that not just postpartum, but many types of depression are part of our society. And, I do think that technology doesn't help us. We can text, email, etc without having any TRUE human interaction. Having human interaction does help....Not to get on my technology rampage, but I think it is a good reminder for me that picking up the phone and calling someone can be a good answer sometimes, especially after something traumatic.

A Lily story: I was french braiding Lily's hair today for the first time. She was playing with her combs and standing in her bathroom on her stool. As all three year olds do, she kept trying to get me to look at this and that and have this deep conversation about nothing with her. I finally told her, that I couldn't talk or look because I was trying to concentrate. She asked me the inevitable WHY....I reiterated that I need to concentrate. She was quiet for a second and then said, "When Aunt Candace does it, she doesn't need to concentrate!" I had to defend myself--I said that I was relearning how to braid and that mommy wasn't as good as Aunt Candace at doing hair; that some people it took lots of practice. She keeps me smiling and keeps me going whether I FEEL like it or not. I guess I need to take lessons from Aunt Candace!

Off to load the car. We are going to dinner with friends, then I think we are off to the lake.

Heaven is Real

Lily asked me on two separate occasions if the baby in my tummy was going to go to Heaven with Daisy. Both times, I responded by telling her that I hoped that they baby got to stay here on earth with us for awhile.

It was one of the hardest things Matt and I had to do--to tell our very comprehending 3 year old that the baby in mommy's belly went to Heaven to be with Daisy and Jesus. Unfortunately (and fortunately) she totally got it. She understood that from now on we weren't going to pray for the baby in mommy's belly anymore. And from that moment on she no longer asked if baby liked the food that I was putting in my mouth. She understood.

It has been 4 and 1/2 weeks since I miscarried. I have not updated the blog until now. I did not know what to say this time around. Not to mention, we did spend the month of July at the lake. We rented the same place we did last year. This year, I spent the month recovering physically and emotionally. Sadly, the month went quickly and I am feeling better now. Since I was 14 weeks along when I miscarried, the doctor advised that the recovery would be 6-8 weeks. And, I am still not 100%. Now that I am home, I am trying to catch up with jobs around the house. However, it is hard to be back because I feel like I have to face reality a little bit more often. At the lake, somehow, I felt a little bit removed from it. Now, I am home and somewhat lonely. Have plenty to do, but don't really feel like doing any of it.

Wednesday is our 10th wedding anniversary. TEN YEARS!!!! We honestly are closer and more on the same page than ever. Thanks to the trials that God has allowed, we have become closer to HIM and closer as a couple. With the loss of Daisy I did not have any inclination to ask WHY. However, this time around, I wanted to. However, I did not allow myself to do it. And, Matt did remind me as I was struggling with that that him and I were closer again because of the loss. And, we did learn some things this time around also.

Lily, as always, has been such a joy. She is such a reminder that we have so much to be grateful for. God gave us her before all of this and she has been such a lovely light in our lives. She is always making us laugh, even if it is in embarrassment.

At the grocery store the other day, Lily yelled at the top of her lungs~

"Look Dad, that man has a ponytail! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! He has a ponytail! Mans aren't supposed to have ponytails!" needless to say, Matt was totally embarrassed.

Another funny moment this week~

Matt had a frozen coffee drink. Lily knows she can have some coffee if it is cold. So, Matt had let her have some.

Suddenly from the back seat she says, "Dad, do you love me?"

Matt said, "Yes, I love you, Lily."

She then said, "Then can I have some more of your drink?"


Lily had a ball at the lake. Unfortunately, I was not able to have many visitors as I did last year. However, Lily was able to swim almost every day. She also got to tube and play to hear hearts content. She got to spend time with my mom (and so did I).

more later. Off to attend to Lily.

Overdue update

I have not blogged in exactly a month! Lots to put down.....

~Been spending as much time as I can enjoying the summer, which means going to the park with Lily and friends, making simpler meals, and going to the lake.

~Matt's bro Jon and his fiance got to stay with us last week and it was nice to get to know Polly better. She is a quality, southern girl. Their wedding is in October. I am sad to have to miss it, but probably will be Indiana-bound until this baby arrives.

~Lily said, "I suppose I should..." yesterday. It was so funny hearing "suppose" coming from a 3 year old.

~Matt also taught her the word repulsive a few days ago. She is getting it down, but hasn't used it on her own yet.

~I had cousins here last week that we rarely see. Glad we got to catch up with them a bit. They are 17 and 18 and it was nice to have a real conversation with them, as they are growing into young ladies! Beautiful. Wish I had a pic....Somehow we forgot to take a pic of all the girls in our generation that were enjoying the lake together.

~Go back to doctor tomorrow. Found a couple of small hemorrhages on my ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. Put me on pelvic rest. No strenuous activity, including lifting Lily. Hasn't been too bad, except going to grocery:( I had to ask one of the workers last time I was there to lift her into the cart and then back out again. The Meijer lady was great about it and Lily didn't freak out with a stranger touching her, so all turned out to be fine. I am not supposed to have another ultrasound tomorrow, but I bet I will end up with one. I am having some pressure/pain.....Really hoping that I do not end up on bedrest tomorrow...Praying those blood bubbles have decreased or gone away.

~Feeling good overall. Staying rested has been so good for this pregnancy. I FEEL good.

~Need to do my books for Trifle. Things are piling up:(

~We have new recipe boxes for Trifle. Very neat boxes. Grandpa Zook made them, then my friend decorated them. I will include a pic of a couple of them, although they are more fabulous in person. I cannot determine which one is my favorite because they are all unique and fun.

~Still have a rental vehicle. My car is supposed to be done this coming week. Not sure if I really want it back. Not sure if I will get over the memory of driving it the last time. And, I am hoping it runs like new. I really don't want to get it back and then it not work properly...

~Still going to chiropractor from accident. Lily has been released, but my neck is still a little knotty in a really bizarre place from being thrown the way we were.

~Lily still talks about the accident. Not kidding, right after it happened, we talked about it about 10 times a day. Now we only talk about it approximately once a day. However, she is still processing it. I wonder if it will be one of her first memories that stay with her?!?!?!

~Hoping to rent our little cottage again this year. However, I am feeling as though it may be contingent on tomorrow's appointment.

~Mom's lake place has just turned out amazing. It is tranquil and mostly perfect. We all love to gather there as much as we can. The rain has been a little bit of a bummer, but hopefully it will get better as we head into July.

Babies are Miracles + Yummy new cookie recipe!

The top half of this is a little heavy, but the bottom half is delicious!

A "former" nurse told me when I was on bedrest with Daisy that having a healthy baby is a miracle that we do not really think that much about. Her point was there is so much that can go wrong that we forget how tenderly perfect having a baby is.

That memory keeps resonating with me as I hear of pregnancy/infant problems. Some people have a hard time getting pregnant; some miscarry often; some have stillborns; some have preemies; some have babies with missing organs that are born and live a very short life; some ultrasound results are inconclusive. There are so many situations that I hear of. I know that I am more sensitive to the whole topic now than I was before, but I am reminded often that new life is a miracle. And of course b/c of pregnancy hormones, I am more emotional about my and other people's experience.

I made a meal for a pregnant friend that is struggling with some possible test "results". I am scared sick for her and the baby. God is in control~but there is a possibility of painful things to come.

I made them some cookies....When I sat down to write, I didn't know it was going to be so heavy. In fact, I was really writing to include info on my new favorite cookies. My friend, Abby, who has the Our Little Hope blog posted them recently and I finally got to try them. They are grain free, dairy free, and (refined) sugar free and DELICIOUS! I will admit, I was a little skeptical, but they are too good to be true. I posted them in my recipe page. YUM--worth every cent! (Almond flour is expensive, but so worth it in these cookies!)

I froze some and will have to let you know how they turn out after they have been frozen, then thawed. I am assuming they will be fine.

PS I also just posted the blog that these cookies came from on my blog list. It is the primal palate one. I am really excited about all the recipes they have on their blog. If the rest of their food is as good as the cookies, I am in business! Now I just have to start trying the recipes......

Three Year Old Party

Lily's birthday party was a success. Birthday number 3 has been the best yet. She "got" it that it was her birthday and that she was turning three. She really enjoys having people around--she was the center of attention in whatever room she was in and loved it.

We ordered pizza because that is her FAVORITE! My mother-in-law made the salad. And I picked up a cake from For Goodness Cakes (they are putting in a store front coming soon!) Everyone pitched in since my week was a little crazier than expected. Somehow I still spent the day yesterday prepping and getting the house ready. However, I was grateful to keep it simple and to have help.

Lily received a couple Bitty Baby accessories, books, a personalized picture memory book that is amazing, tricycle, helmet, dolls for her dollhouse. The girl got several fantastic gifts and many of them are perfectly "needed" for her playtimes.

Aunt Dusti sent some party hats. All the girls were wearing them, but the guys decided to playfully wear them too. I had asked everyone to wear pink. Most people came dressed for the occasion so we could take a picture of all of us in pink.

My baby is THREE!

Lily turned three today. Totally a fun age. Way better than 1 and 2! She is funny and animated. Today her vocab included ruined and actually (actuawe). Love the use of the words. I didn't know she knew the word ruined until today!

Pics of her helping me make the cake and then eating it.

Tomorrow is our family party.

Why is there always drama when I am expecting?

Lily and I were in a bad car accident today (so hopefully the drama is short-lived). A semi-truck hit us. I walked away and so did Lily. I am amazed at God's timing. One split second earlier and I think I would be in a hospital bed right now. God's timing was good. It damaged our car, probably totaled it, yet we are fine.

I tensed my stomach (and whole body) as the truck was hitting us. Of course, I am ultra-worried about the baby........And yet, there is nothing I can do at this point. I am resting on the sofa, trying to get my body to relax; praying that the baby was protected as an on-call OB told me it probably would be.

Matt is off to get a rental car til we know what the next step is.

I am praising God that my Lily is well. Having lost one child, I cannot bear to think about losing another. Lily is healthy and God be the praise.

New News - 8 weeks and counting.....

I had been going to zumba on a regular basis and my stomach and hips were getting flatter, finally. Now, my belly is a little swollen, especially after I eat.

On Mother's Day, I was riding in the car with my parents.

My mom said, "I am hungry."
My dad said, "Me too."
I said, "Me three and four."

I am pregnant. And we are excited. We are asking everyone to pray for the health of this baby. And for me. I am optimistic. I know that God is in control. His best for this child will be what it is.

The last week has been good. As I have seen people, I have been able to tell some of them the news.

Lily's vocab continues to get funnier and better. Thursday she said something, then she said, "Isn't that incredible?" I cracked up! But I cannot laugh too hard or she asks me why I am laughing and I don't want to hurt her feelings.

She also has been pretending to have binoculars. She puts her hands up to her eyes and looks out her binoculars and looks for whatever item she has on her minds.

Being the sweet dad that he is, Matt said to Lily the other night, "I am going to tell you four things that I love about you." He named the four. Lily then said, "I want five!" I guess everyone loves to hear good things about themselves....haha.

Every time we pray, Lily wants to pray for the baby in my belly. I hope she continues to be so ready to pray.

Lily will be THREE! this week. Crazy. Off to finish paying bills, then to rest. The last week or so has been a little rocky with pregnancy woozies.

I have a good idea.....

Lily's favorite new phase:

"I have a good idea." It precedes half of all things that come out of her mouth. I am not exaggerating.

"I have a good idea. Let's go on an ba-enture." (adventure)

"I have a good idea. Let's go to the store."

"I have a good idea. I want peanut butter and apple."

"I have a good idea. Can I watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while you take your shower?"

"I have a good idea. Baby can come with us." (Baby is her imaginary friend...)

Another new favorite phrase:

"My doctor says I can't eat that." Manipulation at its best.....

Random, she calls robins, chicken birds. Several mornings last week she said, "Look! I see a chicken bird." She called another animal a donut-pecker this morning. I don't think she even knows what a donut is....I think she got it mixed up with a woodpecker because we've been talking about woodpeckers recently. Who knows.

She's in bed now, but I am absolutely certain she will have 100 good ideas tomorrow. :)

Searching for coins.......YUCK

We had a first today. Lily swallowed a coin. I feel like a negligent mother, yet I had no idea she had a coin with her in bed this morning. She was upset this morning and I went in to check on her. Of course, I am still half-asleep. I staggered into her room and she told me she had a coin in her froat(throat).I asked her where she had gotten it. She told me from the floor. Then she told me her bed put it into her mouf (mouth). She kept pointing to her throat area and telling me it was still in there. The doctor's office was not open yet. She thought she may throw it out (throw up) but ended up not happening. I finally fed her toast and water and hoped it would dislodge.....When the doctor's office opened, I called. They said to give her bread and water. (Mother's intuition is good sometimes.....I was totally on track somehow!) FInally she told me that it wasn't in her froat anymore and had gone to her tomach. Anyway, now we are watching her excrements for the next WEEK to see if we can find that coin. She told me it was a penny, but I am not sure 100% that she knows for sure.

I made cookies for euchre (card club is at our house tomorrow night). I asked Lily if she wanted one. She said, "I think my coin would like that." Oh brother.....

Then, she was just on the phone with Matt and she told him that she was sick with a coin (instead of cold!) How kids come up with these things is beyond me, but it was so funny.

I hope all the "attention" that she is getting due to this coin is not going to be positive in her mind. I keep telling her that we don't put coins in our mouth.

Picture is of Lily opening her Easter basket Easter morning.

Lily loved coloring Easter eggs this afternoon. Sparkles were one of her favorite decorations for the eggs. She used all of the sparkle packet on the first three eggs. The picture of the two eggs are the ones that are very sparkly. I am looking forward to an egg hunt tomorrow. Last year's hunt was fun, but I am assuming this year's is going to be eggstrodinary (pun and misspelling intended).

Been making a yummy gluten free dairy free chocolate cake. Will try to post the recipe soon. Made one for tomorrow. Easter is at our house with the Morris Fam. Matt and I spent most of the day prepping.

Been another busy week. Lily started swimming lessons and has LOVED it.

Aunt Dusti was here from Belgium too. Enjoyed catching up with her. Since it was Good Friday, Matt had work off. Dusti and I got to run errands, shop, and eat together the two of us.

Every day I have thought of what I could put on the blog, but at the end of the day, life is busy enough that I don't actually get to typing it out! Then, when I sit down to do so, I cannot remember what I was going to type. Funny stories, provoking thoughts, new news.....all of it is gone from my head. So, I am posting some random thoughts....

Lily has bronchitis. I guess it is going around. Came on really fast.

I have a cold so today we are laying low.

Working the Vera Bradley Outlet Sale tonight, along with 3 other shifts. Very fun, very invigorating, very addicting. Makes me (to some degree) want to go back to work! Debating whether I want to pick up another shift.

Lily is pretending ALOT!

She is also making up her own ideas and thinking ahead. Matt and her were out doing errands last weekend. She said to Matt, "I have a good idea. Let's go to Old MacDonald's and a foothie." (McDonald's Smoothie) Matt said, I think Old Macdonald's is closed. She then proceeded to 'outsmart' him. She said, "Ok, I guess we can go to Foothie King then." (Smoothie King) He said that was closed too. She said, "Ok, I guess we can make a foothie when we get home." Matt finally agreed. What a negotiator.

Another day they were at Lowe's. She had pinched her finger and was still pretty upset about it. Matt was in the light bulb section and noticed a princess nightlight. He asked her if a princess nightlight would make her feel better. She said, "Sure." Then she hesitated and said, "I don't really need one. I already have one. We can get one when my other nightlight broked." Too sweet--where does she learn that practicality? :) Matt and I are both practical to some degree, but not overly so.

Made a gluten free, dairy free cake the other day. It was really yummy and I could not stop eating it! YUM. Finally a dessert that I can eat and it tastes good. It doesn't really go with my weight-loss attempts, but the cake is gone now! Piece by piece it made its way to my stomach.

Sometimes I doubt myself as a mom. I think it is probably a natural thing for most moms? After asking questions of other moms or my mom, I realize that I am doing the right thing. There are so many gray areas as a mom.

Lily can do so many things by herself now. She can even get out all of her own vitamins. I supervise, of course, but she knows how many of which ones come out of which bottles. LOVE THE INDEPENDENCE.

Added a new product to our recipe card website (triflerecipecards.com)
Take Out Menu Boxes. Very excited to have a new product to sell. Perfect gift for everyone.

Matt is on a new diet and new workout.

Zach is back from the Marines. Looking for a job. Living at home. Doing well.

My memory verse for the week is Psalms 66:18. Lily has a huge number of verses memorized. Every night, she and Matt have verses on cards that they go through. She's got them all down pat. She also just learned our phone number.

Lily Singing to Baby Henry

Videos of Lily singing~press play button for entertainment....

"Jesus Loves Me"



"Mary Had a Little Lamb"



"Baa Baa Black Sheep"




Babysitting Henry for a few minutes was EASY when I have the entertainer helping me!

Besides singing, Lily was a huge helper. She helped me change 2 diapers, feed Henry his bottle, made sure he was covered with a favorite blanket of hers, kept me updated on every toot, burp, sneeze, and coo that Henry made!

Lily's shopping cart

Just had to add this one real quick~
Lily pushing her cart with her baby and bunny in the cart, sunglasses on, purse underneath the cart, and stickers added as embellishments on the side of her pants!

ZUMBA

I LOVE ZUMBA. The fun of the dance, aerobic type exercise is exhilarating. The hip-hop, salsa music is invigorating. I love it even more because I don't HAVE to be coordinated....At least that's what the instructor tells us! HAHA! She just tells us to not worry about the exact steps, but to keep moving.

Being apart of an exercise class is an interesting adventure. There are all types of girls with all types of abilities. I must admit, though, that I am entertained by the people around me.

There is the "over-exert-or"--The girls that are flamboyantly and over-vigorously doing every move. They get so excited that they add moves or make the bigger than they need to be! I have to watch out for these people because they can bop you in the head or bottom if I am not careful! (The opposite of this one is the people that barely move--And believe me, there are some)

There is the uncoordinated--This is totally me. I cannot keep the steps straight unless I have done them repeatedly. I have to be able to see the instructor, or I am toast!

There is the awkward--This again is me. I am lanky...Which makes me movements totally unfluid. It is not a pretty sight.

There is the nonrhythmic--Again, this is me. I cannot keep the beat. I do much better if I am watching the instructor. My favorite instructor usually gives us a heads up to when we change dance moves. This is a huge help to me that doesn't know what beat we are on and/or cannot keep track of how many repetitions we do! Of course, there are a few people that are ALWAYS turning the wrong way or completely on a different step. Literally, every time she says turn right, they turn left OR they are just doing their own thing. Unfortunately for them, I feel better that they are not coordinated / rhythmic either.

There are the success stories--My neighbor has been walking and going to exercise classes for the last couple of years and she is looking REALLY good! I bet she's lost 75-100 pounds. It is nice to see her in the class because I know that she has succeeded everyone's expectations; and she looks and feels great. (There is an opposite to this one, but I won't go into details....)

There is the perfect attender--She is there EVERY class without fail. She has all the moves down pat. Every step is coordinated. She is not awkward. She knows the next step before it is spoken. She is the one I turn to when I cannot see the instructor's movements!

At the end of the day, I am glad all these people come together to do a fun dance, exercise. I am glad we are all unique and bring different things to the table of life.

Sunday night is when my fav instructor teaches. She is totally fun, and always pushes everyone to do BIG movements and tighten our abs.

Zumba is definitely fun and I have definitely lost weight by doing it. Hooray for ZUMBA!

Gluten Free Dairy Free

I am considering starting a separate recipe area for gluten free dairy free recipes. Since starting this eating change, I feel TONS better. Yes, I am still trying to avoid other foods like soy, yeast, eggs, sugar, peanuts, caffeine, alcohol, tomatoes, corn, eggplant, and peppers. However, sometimes those are inevitable and I don't think my body has a horrible reaction to them. Mostly, I think dairy (possibly a couple others) is my main culprit! Finding out what are the culprits are one of the biggest successes. Once it is figured out, then dealing with it is somewhat easy.

Because my recipes are based upon these specifications, I am thinking about making a section of my blog dedicated to gluten free, dairy free recipes. There are blogs (some of them are listed to the right) that have helped inspire me when I don't know what else to cook. It really isn't that hard once you are committed to the new way of eating. However, it is hard sometimes to think of what concoctions I CAN make. Or, sometimes it is just frustrating knowing what substitutions are possible.

One recipe that is gluten free, dairy free that I will post is Peanut Butter Cookies. They do have an egg and some sugar in them. HOWEVER, no milk, butter, flour!!! They are delicious. Thanks to my mom who tried them, we have a new, easy, yummy cookie that staves off any craving!

PS I changed my background to PINK in honor of Lily's favorite book: Pinkalicious

Lily's speech improvments :(

I love that Lily is 2 1/2. Really, it is much easier than the baby stage. I honestly do NOT miss the baby stage that much. However, there are moments when she does something more grown up that I get a little twinge of sadness. For instance, her speech. She used to say, "Hun-gee" for hungry. Today she randomly said, "Hun-ga-wee" There still is no R sound, but she is closer and it makes my heart sad that she is becoming a big girl.

Sometimes, Matt works on her with her speech and it makes me MAD :) because I like her special words. She always called Panera "To-ehwa" Now, because of Matt's assistance she says, "Pa-ehwa" with the P sound. I got after him....She will learn these things on her own soon enough. I love her To-ehwas and To-nanas (bananas).

Lily talks non-stop. Literally, from the second she gets up, to the second she falls asleep (she talks to her babies and animals in bed until she literally falls over), she is talking. AND, if you don't listen, she knows it. She repeats the sentence over and over until you comment on it. I have learned to multi-task at this task, but sometimes it is hard to do everything while listening to her chat.

She is starting to make-believe. At the grocery today, she told me this whole made up story that was completely unbelievable, but I think it was pretty real to her.

While I am bragging, I must write that Matt has taught her all the books of the Old Testament and she knows them by heart!!! It is adorable, endearing, and AMAZING. We must get it on video soon. If I can catch her doing it, I will upload this amazing song she can sing.

Off to rest for a few minutes while I actually have some peace and quiet!

TO-DAY

I woke up yesterday morning to Lily calling my name. I had been sound asleep, so I bounded into her room, no glasses, no robe. I asked her what she needed and she said, "It is TO-DAY" and she pointed outside. She was trying to make the point that she had seen daylight. I told her that it was TO-DAY, but mommy was still sleeping. She told me, "No, it is TO-DAY!!!" I finally realized she wasn't going to entertain herself in her bedroom. So, we ended up getting up. However, I am a little worried that if she gets up with the sunlight, we may be in trouble in the next few months!

This morning, I went into her bedroom and found Ernie and one of her babies each in a pair of her pajamas. She is currently really into dressing her babies/animals in HER clothes. IT IS A MESS though. She rummages through her closet and drawers, gets out all possible options and starts dressing and re-dressing her babies, animals and herself! Many afternoons, she is in different clothes than what I left her in, which creates much more laundry than need be, but I guess I find it too humorous to put a stop to it.

We are still in BSF (Bible Study Fellowship), but it seems as though it is canceled about every other week, since Christmas. I guess it is somewhat nice because it is not so much pressure to get the work done and it is nice to have a break. However, I also miss the consistency of getting together with the other girls and reviewing what we've learned from the scripture/questions. Since schools were closed today, we are canceled for tomorrow's BSF. So, Lily and I are going to have to find something else to do doing our time off.

The picture is of Lily helping Matt make chocolate torte last week.

Well, Lily's snowman is half melted. Bummer! Matt and her have fixed it several times, but it just keeps getting knocked down or melting. She insists that they fix it since there is still snow in our yard!

I checked out my window this morning and realized we have some daffodils peeking up. Then, Lily and I ventured out and cleaned up my herb garden a little bit. My chives, mint, parsley, and oregano have some green starts coming up too! Just a few warm days and they are definitely happy. I am sure it will snow again and they will not be happy. However, for the moment I am basking in the fact that I have some green showing.

Lily is coloring with markers, so I'd better go investigate her. Then, it is off to naptime (my work time!)

Snowman

I am so "behind" on my blog that I don't even know where to start....January was a rough month emotionally, but IT IS OVER. And, I am feeling much better now that it is over. I am feeling much more like myself; more than I have in a long time. I know this is partially due to the year being over and partially due to my health improving. I still have my moments, but I am definitely on the uphill slope of life, I think.

Lily is SO MUCH FUN right now. I wish I could remember all the funny things she has done or said in the past few days/weeks. She is hysterical. A couple of stories that I would love to share for my own sake so I don't forget them.

1. She didn't want to eat her broccoli one night. So, Matt told her to plug her nose like Pinkalicious does. She didn't really get the concept, but she put a couple of her fingers on her nose and pretended to plug her nose. The next morning, I was doing her hair. She is daily a grouch while I am doing her hair. I look down and she is "plugging" her nose. I knew what she was doing, but asked her anyway. She said, "I pushing my nose so my hair doesn't hurt." Inventive!

2. In her book, "Fancy Nancy," Nancy is carrying a tray of parfaits and trips and the tray of parfaits does a "double flip." All of the ice cream ends up all over her and the floor. Well, one morning, we were eating breakfast. Lily was having cereal. She somehow does the splits on her chair. In trying to catch herself, she smashes her hand on her cereal bowl. The milk and cereal go all over the table and her legs end up behind her, stuck. I race over to her and pull her up, she says, "My ceweal did a double-fip." I started laughing and she, said, "Yeah, my ceweal did a double-fip, just like Fancy Nancy does!" I could not believe how quickly she put that story in an application of her experience....

Today Matt and Lily made a snowman. I attached a picture because she is beside herself with excitement about the snowman. I hope it doesn't melt in the next few days. Hopefully it will stay put for awhile, so she can enjoy it. I made them hot chocolate after they were finished. I posted the recipe, if anyone wants it. DELICIOUS!

Matt is watching superbowl, so I am catching up on magazines and emails. I had 670 emails in my inbox that I needed to clean up. Many of them are about Daisy or from last January and February. I am grateful to have all email-support, and cannot make myself delete those emails quite yet. I ended up making a folder for them, but need to get rid of the rest of the emails that I just have never deleted. I just haven't had the gumption to do much this last year....But I am getting some pep in my step back!

Pot Roast

Just tried Candace's new concoction for pot roast tonight. SO easy and SO simple. I posted it to the recipe page, if anyone is interested. It hit the spot and I love that I can put dinner in the oven at 12 and not touch it again until we are ready to eat. I made a simple salad to go with it, but not too much work.

Hard week. Birthday was good. Week was hard. Cannot seem to pull myself out of the funk that I am in. Wondering if I need medicine. I haven't taken any "upper" meds this whole year, but this past week has pulled me down further than I have been and cannot seem get out of it.

Matt made some gluten-free cookies tonight. YUM! They are really yummy. Pamela's makes decent pre-made products for gluten-free eaters.

We are almost done organizing our house from top to bottom. There are definitely a few more places to sort and scour, but it is feeling tons better. Once we are done a huge weight is going to be lifted off. Not sure what I am going to do with my time--haha.

Matt makes pancakies with Lily every Saturday morning. Matt makes plain ones for her and blueberry ones for himself. She doesn't like blueberries in her pancakies. They were sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakies and Lily turns to Matt and says, "Dad, when you were a little gourl (girl) did you like blueberries in your pancakies?" Matt laughed and told her that he didn't like them in his pancakies til he was a daddy.

Love the moments when she makes us laugh no matter what we are doing.

Off to eat another cookie with my girl.

"eating lifestyle change"

In order to help my health, I am trying a new way of eating (notice I don't say DIET).

I am posting my new favorite blog as a link on my blog (at the bottom where I have a couple other favorite blogs listed). Most of the recipes are gluten and dairy free. nourishingmeals.com. She has other links to healthy, gluten free websites. I haven't explored those yet.

Gluten free--pretty easy once you get used to it

Dairy free--challenging

Soy free--more challenging than I thought. I am not a huge soy/asian/marinade person so I thought it would be easy, but there is soy in ALOT of foods....

Sugar free--ugh, need I say more?

Caffeine free--tormenting

Alcohol free--easier than expected, but decided to cheat on this one for the 20 days of Daisy's life.

Yeast free--easy

Egg free--hard at first, but easier now. I think it will be much easier when I add them back in.

I did this three weeks straight. The first week was horrible, but it got much easier. Since I cheated a little bit at Christmas, I have been allowing myself to cheat more often. Think after the next few days pass, I am going to go back to not cheating at all. Did I feel better? YES...However there are still some medical issues that I need to be concerned with, so I will try to combat them all with this lovely way of eating.

Many restaurants are accommodating, to an extent. AND, there are some restaurants that have gluten free menus.

My birthday and the anniversary of Daisy's life ending on earth is this week. Since Dec 23rd, I have been unstable emotionally. I guess that it is to be expected. I have trudged through most of it, but some of it I just had to not participate. I am dreading the next few days with every ounce of my being. I had been dreading Dec 23rd, but it turned out to be a good day and I realized that it was Daisy's birthday, so it was a celebration. January 12th, however, is going to be very sad. Yes, she got to go to HEAVEN on that day, but holding her as she died was one of the most painful days I will (hopefully) experience.

Not sure what I am doing that day....Not sure if I will be able to function, really. January 15th was the funeral. January 16th was the burial. Oh, the days ahead...I need to not think about the date itself.

Off to get ready for bed.

Jan 2--Organizing ourselves silly

The last week and a half has been a journey. Better than expected....Christmas and Matt being home made the time FLY. Matt and I have worked so hard at getting our house decluttered. We have not only gotten rid of random things we do not need, but tried to empty drawers and organize, pitch, and reevaluate. Some items are just hard to part with, but there comes a time when IT IS TIME! We still have three closets to go and half the basement that still needs our purging-crazed selves to go through. I am anxious to be finished, but it feels so good to get rid of stuff we do not need, want.

Several things have attributed to this desire, I think. One, my mom has been trying to simplify the lake cottage stuff. She is truly getting rid of TONS of stuff in order to simplify the lake. She is doing the same with the house, now that the lake stuff isn't in her house anymore.

Also, my in-laws are moving. They have a very large house now and are moving to a very small space until they find a house they love....And they are having to look at every possession and decide whether it stays or goes....

Thirdly, bringing so many Christmas items in, forces some stuff to be bygones. As gifts are received, the house is cluttered without a place. I cannot stand it and neither can Matt....So, all new items now have a place.

Lastly, Lily's toys accumulate and clutter and TAKE OVER very quickly. So, we created a playroom for her. Grandpa Zook made a table for her. It is getting painted (hopefully) this week. Then, I have a chalk board from when I was little and we are going to put that in the playroom. We got some organizational cubes from Target...Her playroom is going to be the cutest room in the house when we are completed. AND, it eliminates all the clutter of toys! All the toys now have a home upstairs. We did keep a few downstairs, but most are up, up, and away!

One thing I have not organized this week is the Daisy box. However, it is my goal to do so in the next 10 days. 10 more days of remembering day-by-day what we were doing last year at this time. It is torturous, but I am reading through the blog from last year. It is good to see notes from friends and remember daily what Daisy's life and our lives were last year.

Off to read a little bit, then to bed....All this organizing and Matt and I are exhausted every night. Too bad he has to go to work tomorrow!