Justification

I am learning that I don't HAVE TO provide an excuse for everything I do. I have always "shared" how I was feeling or why I was doing what I was doing. I think it helped me connect with another person and feel justified (just in case they wanted to judge me). However, I realizing that it is okay not to tell/share/give explanation. In some instances, it is okay to do something or be a certain way and not explain it at all. Afterall, we are to be finding our identity and our confidence in the LORD, not men. Galatians 1:10 says, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."


We have been on the go. I am attempting to get used to being up, doing some cooking, eating out, putting on some makeup, socializing, running our household. (Some of it seems a little ridiculous since I am just going to go backwards) It feels good, though, to be somewhat normal before we transition to having another member of our family. Anyway, between Lily's birthday celebrations, her graduation, and other social and household commitments, I woke up exhausted today. I am allowing her to watch TV and play on her Leapster all day. She played in her room for awhile. YES, we are just being bums. Well, not totally, but somewhat.


I am attempting to keep up every day on our Trifle Recipe Cards (triflerecipecards.com) orders. I am paying bills as they come in. Mom and Matt are keeping laundry caught up. I am attempting to keep the house in order. Why? All in hopes that it will make our time at the hospital more peaceful.


It is a peculiar time waiting on the arrival of a baby. Do I get groceries to make dinners next week? Do we make plans to do playdates with friends? Do we go to the lake? Today, I decided I probably need to go ahead with somehow obtaining groceries (I have not gone to the grocery yet due to it being so overwhelming). I probably should go ahead with making plans for a normal week next week. There is no point in lingering around in boredom. Lingering while waiting will, I think, only make us all stircrazy.


I have a list of jobs we need to accomplish. They don't HAVE TO be done before the baby comes, but I think we are going to work on them this weekend. Some baby related. Some not.


Pictures of graduation.

Well, I made it through Lily’s birthday party on Saturday and am still pregnant today, her actual birthday. Did not know if I would make it to the party. We have been celebrating since Thursday due to the fact that we did not know if I would make it through the weekend. Thursday during the day she got to celebrate her birthday with her classmates. She took her favorite (prepackaged) treat in to share with her classmates: Mint Oreos. Thursday night, we took her to get a mini-pedi; then to dinner at Biaggi’s. She LOVES eating out, so that was right up her alley. Friday was low-key, but we were busy getting ready for her party.


Saturday, family gathered and friends migrated to our house to celebrate. Truly, Lily doesn’t need small play items. Therefore, we ended up pooling together and getting her an 8 foot playhouse. Attached is a picture. OH MY. It is a dream playhouse. She loves the show Doc McStuffins where the little girl pretends to be a doctor to her stuffed animals. The girl in the Disney show doctors her animals in what they call a clinic (which is a playhouse). So, now Lily has her own clinic.


As family left the party, neighborhood kids came to play. Matt and I ended up serving popcorn, smoothies, and leftover birthday cupcakes to the kids as they continued to play through dinner and into the evening. WHAT A FUN DAY! She has an amazing childhood. We attempt not to “spoil” her. However, she just has a fun life. Part of it is her attitude. She loves everything. She loves sports; toys and dolls; helping with chores; cooking and baking; running errands; playing with any age child. I could go on. I hope that as her mom I can foster her to continue to love life in a way that I admire. With the Lord’s provision, she could be one amazing woman.


We had a chalkboard up during the party. Participants could write what they loved about Lily. She herself wrote something about herself. It says, “Lily loves Jesus.” Melts my heart.


Today, her actual birthday is a little low-key also. We are all exhausted from the weekend of celebrating. (Sunday we ended up going to the lake to help ‘open’ it and go on a birthday boatride.) She hung out on my bed watching tv this morning. This afternoon, she went to her Meemaw’s house and gymnastics. Tonight, we are taking her to Olive Garden per her request.


I am officially ready to have this baby. I was hoping to make it through Lily’s birthday and I did. The end is just plain miserable. And I am to that point. And, the anticipation of the big arrival day builds at the end. The anticipation of meeting this little guy is about to undo me! So, I am still hoping and praying for him to come in the next few days. I hope he is ready for his birthday……….


First picture is of Lily when she saw the playhouse being delivered. Second picture of her in the "clinic." The third is of her decorating her cupcake at her party. She had LOTS of toppings she could choose from.

The Lord has HIS hand on my womb

There is a constant question of whether we are going to stay in our current house or if we are going to move. The question is one that comes and goes every few months. It has been an interesting transition of our thought process. Last fall we had our house sold and another one purchased. It fell through within hours of me finding out I was pregnant. I am grateful for God's provision in that. And we are content here. Mostly.


I am content here most of the time and make an attempt to be as such. (Of course, I don't prefer change, so this comes semi-easily most of the time.)


However, it is a constant teeter-totter of what projects we do and what we don't do. Usually every year we do a few minor projects. One year we put new concrete stoops in our front and back porches. One year we got new landscaping. Some years it is new furniture or redoing a room. There is usually a project on the horizon peculating. The question every time we consider a project is: Is it worth it? How many more years are we staying here? Will we get the money out when we decide to sell? (The answer is NO to most of the projects from here on out.) But then the question is, if we stay here X number of years, we reap the benefit of it for as long as we stay, even if we don't get it out when we sell.


The project that I have desired from day 1 is building a screened-in porch. However, it is such a big expenditure when we never know if we are staying or going.


The plan for now is to stay another year. We completed the baby's room and really would like for him to be in a good schedule/routine before we consider moving again.


This house is wonderful and we love it. We have invested time and energy into making it our home. There have been many fond memories, along with some hardships. And that's part of what makes a home--the experiences that we have in it.


38 weeks on Thursday!!!! Since being off bedrest, most days I typically have a mixed 'feeling.' I typically wake feeling groggy, not rested, and sore. Mid-morning through afternoon, I perk up and feel pretty good. And in the afternoon/evening, typically am sore from moving around that I moan and groan with every movement. If I rest during that time, I sometimes have another spurt of energy around 9-10pm.


I am making VERY SIMPLE meals, with Matt's help. Usually they are partially already made up or something from the freezer. I am grateful that my freezer was well-stocked. I have soups, frozen fruits and veggies, gluten-free bread, jams, meats, etc. I am carting Lily around a little in my vehicle. I can usually go somewhere during the day, as long as it doesn't require too much walking. (For instance, today I went to the eye doctor.)


Lily is an amazing help. She loves to prove that she is "big enough." Today, she had a couple of library books to return. I wasn't feeling well. She talked me into allowing her to go from the car to the return box. She said she could put the books into the book return by herself. I wasn't certain she could do it, but she did. I was proud of her, she was excited, and it was AMAZING to benefit from the freedom of allowing her to do it.


Matt is "nesting." He did the same thing with Lily. He nested and I didn't. He keeps asking me to make a list of everything I'd like done before the baby comes. And he wants it done! It is adorable. I love that about him.


Praying that this baby will come on May 22, 23, or 24. (The 25th is the full moon. Lily was a full moon baby.) It would be great if he came right before Memorial Day weekend. Matt could have the long weekend at home with us without having to take time off of work. And I would also love it if he arrived during the week, knowing that I would have higher odds of my doctor being around to deliver. At any rate, we are ready for his arrival.

Reality check = BABY!?!?!?

The reality that we are going to have a BABY is setting in....We have forgotten what it is like. Lily is independent and we love it. She eats, gets dressed, plays, brushes her teeth, puts her shoes on, packs (she is a great suitcase packer!), can play with the neighbor kids: all by herself. She can even get her own snacks. Her favorite thing right now is to get an apple out of the fridge and rinse it off all by herself. She can even tell time. I will hear her say, "Mom it is 12:20. It is time to leave for school!" She knows what time it is and what time her events start. I have been told that for a four year old this is not normal. It is "above average." She is capable of so much.



And, then, we realize that we are starting over. We are going back to basics here soon. Changing diapers, feedings, getting baby dressed, etc. We have forgotten it. In fact, Matt and I are both a little nervous about caring for a baby and all that it entails. We haven't had to clip a carseat in the car in years. No strollers or pacifiers. We haven't been woken up in the middle of the night often. Lily talks to us. We haven't gotten the privilege of figuring out why a baby is crying.



People say we will pick it right back up.....I hope so.....



I am looking forward to holding this sweet baby. And I hope that caring for him is a greater joy than expected. With Lily, I took it for granted. And I didn't know what I was doing. And I had to back to work. With this little man, I am hoping that in the middle of the night when I am dog-tired that I remember how long we have waited for his arrival. I hope I remember all the trials and losses that we have gone through to have the privilege of holding him. I hope I am praising God when he cries, eats, and dirties diapers regularly. For, we know what it is not to hear our child cry, eat, or soil a diaper. Therefore, I am praying that Matt and I will re-adjust well and quickly to having a newborn. Soon, he will be here!!! I am 37 weeks today.



Lily had a huge day yesterday. Thanks to a friend, she got to go to BSF; Matt took a half day and went to the zoo with her class; We then ventured up to Auburn to see Lucy; then had dinner at Kiki's. Fun day for all. Attached is a pic of Lucy and Lily together.

Up.....Kind of

People keep asking me if I am officially off bedrest. It is a complicated answer:) Doctor and I have not officially had the conversation......He ended up delivering a baby last week during my appointment time. Truthfully, I am exhausted if I am up much. However, I am starting to get stronger. Carrying around this big belly while attempting to do a few things has been a challenge. My back and abdomen muscles are not used to doing much. They have gotten a tad lazy....Doctor had mentioned waiting to rebuild. However, I have things to do:) and I want to be strong enough to deliver and take care of this baby. SO, I am not pushing hard, but I am up doing a few more things. I typically do something, then I rest for awhile; do something, rest, etc. At the end of the day, I am so tired from being up more than normal, that I am sleeping better than most people do toward the end of the pregnancy. (YAY! There is good in the rebuilding!!!!)



I was explaining to Matt last week that I felt like I had to make a daily choice. I either DO something "fun" or DO housework. I do not have energy for both. I was feeling this inner tug of war. Matt knows me well enough and is selfless enough to encourage me to do the fun stuff while I can. I am grateful not to be tied to the housework. After the baby, I will be tied down to taking care of him and the needs of my family.



I am doing a few fun things here and there. And I am taking care of a few things before baby comes (like going to eye appointment). I got an ear infection, so that required a doctor's appointment too. (I didn't have a cold or any drainage and got an ear infection--bizarre!!!) I have not taken any antibiotics the entire time I was pregnant and am planning on keeping it that way. Praying this ear infection goes away so I don't have to be on meds.



If I am up for long, I do have contractions for a little while. Then, they go away.



LUCY ROSE POST was born this morning. Am excited to go see her tomorrow (one of my 'fun' activities). A healthy niece has arrived!!! Lily, Matt, and I are thrilled!!! It will be fun to have Lucy and Baby Boy Morris close in age. A picture of my grandma, dad, brother, and baby Lucy is below.



Not cooking much yet. We are piecing together meals. We have some things in the freezer that we pull out or grill or do something very easy. I miss cooking and am looking forward to the day I get to try some of the recipes I have cut out. Doubt that I will be walking the grocery aisles til after this little guy arrives either! Need to be able to walk around the block first. May attempt walking around the block in the next couple of weeks, if I am still pregnant.



Lily's birthday celebrations will start next week. We have have planned to do fun activities with her for a whole week, just in case the baby comes early. We have several surprises in store and a few things that she is aware of such as her birthday party. Looking forward to it, but know it will be about all I do for that whole week!