Days, weeks are flying by without me hardly noticing how fast they are going. Sometimes, I still have a flashback of not remembering what time of the year it is.....Today I was writing a check and couldn't recall what month it was. It is so bizarre.

Daisy's headstone was set this week. Matt, Lily and I went to visit her grave. One of the only thoughts that kept coming to my head was that we were all four together. I had a very hard time leaving because it was so nice for us all four to be in one place, physically at least. As we were preparing to leave, I could not hold my tears in any longer. Lily asked me if I was sad, gave me a hug and said, "It's okay." She becomes very sensitive if anyone is sad. It was sweet and definitely made me smile, then Lily said, "She all better."

Overall, it has been an emotional week. I had more doctor's appointments. The Daisy Walk/Run is coming up and I am EXCITED about it. However, it is also very emotional preparing and talking about it. If anyone wants to walk or run in the event, please let me know! Sign ups are available until September 8. Sponsorships are really needed also to support the preschool. I will be there volunteering and walking.

Matt's brother is bringing a girl home from Alabama this weekend. Must go get ready for meeting them for dinner!

Attached is a picture of Lily eating a Brown House ice cream cone while visiting Daisy.

HOT AGAIN!

Had two requests for the laddie cookies in the past 24 hours, so I posted the Neiman Marcus/Laddie Cookie recipe on the recipe tab (to the right on the blog).

Another hot day--90 degrees is just too warm unless at a pool or the lake. When is the weather going to break? It is a yucky feeling to wish that it wasn't hot and summery all the time! I love summer, but am ready for a heat break.

Spent the whole day working on finding a recipe for canning jalapenos yesterday, just to semi-figure out that you HAVE TO pickle them. I guess there is some sensitivity with jalapenos and they are at higher risk of botulism....WEIRD. The odd thing is, you can purchase canned chiles in the grocery store that don't have vinegar in them. Shouldn't you be able to can them too??? I don't get it. Spent most of the day researching it because I have 22 jalapenos from my garden and I am unsure what to do with them all!!! My freezer already has several bags full, so I feel like I should be doing something else with the rest of the peppers.....But I am not in the mood to can salsa.......If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Off to work on Trifle....And figure out dinner.

One of the posted pictures is of the lake kitchen (where the windows are) and part of the family room (where the guy is working). The other picture is of Lily and I in the front lawn, by the bell, on the new lake lot.

Mid August

My poor garden is starting to fade. My squash is looking sad and my cucumber plant is almost dead. This constant heat is finally making them cave, I think. I am considering planting a fall harvest of a few vegetables. Possibly lettuces again and peppers. I heard of a girl doing that and she said it did well. I am not sure if it is going to work....And I am concerned about the nights in the fall that it frosts! We'll see how it goes. I need to get them planted soon though, I would think.

I am getting caught up from being gone....Paid all the bills and did paperwork today. However, tomorrow I need to work on Trifle's books.

Heard this weekend that one of Matt's high school friends lost a baby--a few days from the baby's due date and it was stillborn. I just try to shake it, but it is hard to not get overwhelmed with sadness for them as they start their mourning journey. To think they don't even get to meet their child that they were expecting any day. Also the fact that it is unpredictable....Our situation was high risk. I knew as I was on bedrest that delivering early was a possibility. I still didn't think it would happen, but I knew it was possible. They probably had no idea what was in store. Had a hard time sleeping last night and then I remembered something that happened while Daisy was in the hospital. I had a couple of people come up to me and tell me they were having a hard time sleeping because Daisy was on their minds and they would pray in the middle of the night for her. It was such a comfort knowing they were praying while I was sleeping. So, last night as I couldn't sleep, I prayed that they would not become bitter towards God, but they would see this was part of His provision. And, I prayed that God would comfort them.

Seems like there are many babies dying. Is it more than normal or am I just noticing it? Not sure which is true, but sad for them all, nonetheless.

I feel as though I cannot take on too much of their grief because I feel as though I myself am still overwhelmed with my own. What is the right balance? I just don't feel like I can allow myself to dwell on it much; and yet, am I supposed to be there for them if they need me??? Is this what God wants me to do? I just don't know the right answer or how to even go about contacting people that I have never met, and yet are part of our church/(former) school community.

Off to finish dinner. Homemade chicken pot pie and possibly a salad of some sort.

Butternut Squash from our Garden!

So rewarding to get items from the garden, then cook with them. Candace and I are cooking meals tomorrow. One of our meals calls for roasted butternut squash, so I went to the garden, picked them, cleaned them, and put them on a baking sheet! Voila! Ready for tomorrow as far as butternut squash goes.

Finalizing Daisy's tombstone wording tonight. Can you believe the concrete base was JUST POURED a couple of weeks ago? It is seven months later and we still don't have a marker for her plot done. However, once we finalize, it will be probably set within a week. Once it is set, I will want to go see it....But I think it may seem so final. Tomorrow is 7 months since her death.

Back home and the adjustment is not preferable. We were not ready to leave the lake! I could have stayed a few more weeks. Other than lack of having internet, I really did not miss being home. And during the last week, I even discovered that the Marina has WIFI! Some friends came to visit and there are always lake friends that are already there. Several of our family-friends have cottages near us. Lily and I were able to see them quite a bit. One of them became a morning walking partner. It is a different world, being at the lake. Lily even said as we were leaving, "No, I stay." HAHA.

It feels good being home in the sense of organization.....I have been working my tushy off getting organized and I still have a long way to go. Food, laundry, clothes, toys, mail....UGH.

Matt and I celebrated out 9th wedding anniversary while we were there. We had Lily with us so it was not THAT exciting, but Matt took the day off and we were able to spend it together.

Trying to decide whether to take Daisy's pictures off my fridge or leave them. They are everywhere and I am feeling a little overwhelmed about having them everywhere. Not sure if it is healthy.