Memorial Day Weekend

Went to Britney and Jake's house for a Memorial Day BBQ. I tried two of Barefoot Contessa's recipes. Roasted Shrimp Cocktail (recipe below) and her Ganache Cupcakes. Jake grilled the chicken and Britney made Mandrin Orange Salad. It was a yummy combo. Don't think I am going to keep the cupcake recipe...Too dense. But, the shrimp cocktail was a winner, even by Britney's girls.

They have a pool and it was 87 degrees in the pool. The rain held off so we got Lily in the pool and she did amazingly well for her first time. It was fun to see her and Matt swimming together with Jake and the girls. Britney and I got to sit in the lounge chairs and observe (and gopher for various items). The time goes so fast. I feel like I barely got to chat with Britney much at all!

Called the doctor yesterday because Lily was up virtually all night Saturday night. She was very restless and kept crying. We could not get her calmed down Saturday night or yesterday afternoon. We think it may have been teeth, but not sure.....Motrin did not do much good. Doing better, but still has her moments. Must be the combo of no pacifier and teething? Who knows.

Matt and I cleaned out our basement all day yesterday. We made LOTS of progress, but still have lots to do. During bedrest, everything that we could not deal with got THROWN down in the basement. There were piles of belongings everywhere. Not to mention, everything was so dusty. We organized; I bought an extra cabinet and so we were able to put things "away." I think Matt wants to start another section this afternoon. I am trying to get the gumption. May need a coffee if Matt wants to keep going today!

Roasted Shrimp Cocktail

2 lbs Shrimp (I used cooked)
1 T good olive oil
1/2 teas kosher salt
1/2 teas freshly ground pepper

For the Sauce:
1/2 cup Heinz chili sauce
1/2 cup Heniz Ketchup
3 T prepared horseradish
2 teas freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/2 teas Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teas Tabasco Sauce

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Toss shrimp with olive oil, salt and pepper. Roast for 5-6 minutes until heated through.

For the sauce, combine all ingredients and serve as the dip.

(The cookbook actually has it made with raw shrimp. I used cooked shrimp, so the recipe is varied.) It was YUMMY!

Lily is my OCD child.....Through and through

Seriously, Lily is OCD. There must be something I can do to help her. Last night, we put corn in a bowl on her highchair tray. SHE THREW A FIT. We were attempting her to at least try a few veggies (the only veggie she eats is sweet potatoes!) Oh, no, it was a catastrophe. She would not even sit down until we removed the corn. She stood up in her highchair and screamed. She could not even have the corn on her tray--it was too upsetting....What's a mom to do?

Another example, if she has any speck of anything on her, she immediately freaks out. If there is a small, unidentifiable piece of lint or dust on her hand or in her shoe, she's upset and we have to get it off or out of her shoe before anything else happens. It is so ingrained that I am not sure how to help her to compromise.

This week, it seems worse. She is teething and if things do not go her way, there are massive tears. Not to mention, Matt and I decided to take the pacifier away. So, there is another drama.........But, no pacifiers is working (other than I am going crazy with her tears and no plug.) She also was using the pacifier as a chew object for her teeth--now she doesn't have that to chew on, I think she's more irritable.

Took her to Kim's today to see how she would do. She cried off and on the entire time she was there. She did not want to be at a sitter's house. I really need her to have a sitter's so that I can count on a day once a week to get my appointments done.......Not sure what I am going to do because Lily was not very good....Now I am not sure if I should send her....She just gets so upset. Weird, though, I can drop her off at the nursery at church and she does fine......

Totally frustrated with motherhood right now. Not sure if I was cut out for staying at home full-time. And when I do try to make plans for Lily once a week so that I can gain some sanity, it didn't go well. I was able to get out a couple nights this week, but still feel as though I am going coo-coo.

Weekend is going to seem a little weird. We always go to my parent's cottage for the holiday, but since they are building, there is no where to go for the whole weekend. We have made plans, so it should be a fun weekend....just different. I need to get out of my motherhood funk so that I can enjoy a three day weekend with Matt!

Tonight is dinner and engagement party, so at least I am getting out!

Splash!

Took Lily to the splash park today at Shoaff Park. She was very timid at first, but ended up loving it!

Got to see new Brandenberger baby today and it was sweet. I wanted to hold her so badly, but didn't trust myself to do so...

Washing all of our bedding, blankets, and comforter duvet. Have the comforter out in the sun to air out. Will definitely have to take a shower before bed tonight so that I can enjoy the clean bedding to its fullest. I feel gross with all the hot weather too. UGH.

Lily and I both wanted PIZZA tonight for dinner, but am going to cook something. I think we are going to be eating out and having BBQs all weekend, so I better cook tonight (as much as I don't feel like it!) Once I get on a roll in the kitchen, I am sure I will be fine..........maybe even make dessert. YUM!

I have been thinking about how I love to have a plan, but the only plan right now is to wait. Randomly, I worked on my resume today. WHAT? WHY? I had not planned to work on it. It honestly did not ever dawn on me until about an hour ago. After I did it, I thought to myself, I need to be ready. I need to be ready for whatever the next step is in my journey. I need to be ready to be pregnant again so physically I need to get my strength up and get my house in order. I need to be ready job-wise in case one comes up so I need to have my resume updated. I need to be ready to be a stay-at-home mom so that means coming up with ways to entertain Lily and myself (some days I get SO BORED!) Whatever the plan is (obviously I am not sure what it is yet), mentally, physically, spiritually, I need to be ready to follow. So, I guess that means I am preparation mode. Interesting thoughts......If I can say so myself today (I guess I have to say so myself because not many people comment on this blog, which I am okay with, but I got used to having feedback almost every day!)

'This is the one about whom it is written, 'Behold, I send My messenger before Your face, who will prepare Your way before You,' (Matt. 11:10).

Off to have dinner with a friend. After Lily's fussy hour (because she didn't get her way about getting chocolate) today, I definitely need to get out tonight!

Today was Lily's birthday party with the families. We had LOTS of grandmas and grandpas at our house to celebrate her big day. She was the perfect party girl--very sociable and entertaining. She knew it was her day to be a star.

She received many great gifts and got to eat lots of good food, including the homemade chocolate cake that my mom made me when I was little for many of my birthdays. Mom made it again for the first time in years. Three pages of a cookbook long, 5 hours to create, and 12 eggs later.........YUM!

As much fun as the day was, it was also a little sad. Another mile marker we celebrate without Daisy. Thought I would be celebrating Lily's birthday with a new baby at home, juggling Lily's party and a new baby. Instead, it was an easy party--very smooth, no juggling. God had plans for her to be in Heaven with Him. Dad reminded me, too, that Daisy's life impacted many people, including him. It was a good reminder because sometimes it is easy to dismiss that people are forever changed because of her life and death. Her life had so much purpose.

Above picture is of the doll--Lillifee--that Dusti and I bought her in Belgium. SHE LOVED IT! Kiki (my mom) got her the Bitty Baby highchair for her Bitty Baby, but Lily decided her new doll needed to have a snack first!

Happy Birthday Lily

My girlie is TWO today! She had a fun-packed day including lots of good food, a couple gifts, great company, and dressing like a princess (including all the accessories)! The gift Matt chose to get her was a tool chest with tools. She loves helping him with projects. In one of the pictures, she is learning how to use her new tools.

Monday--God Bless the RAIN!

We have had so much rain, but I am so grateful for the rain today because it is watering our newly planted seeds and veggies starts! Hooray for the natural watering system.

Been a crazy day, but also a good day. Lily heard Matt this morning, so we were up early. UGH. We did errands all morning long, then picked up Britney's little girl from preschool. Made lunch, then Britney came to pick up Mer. I hadn't seen her in too long, so we were able to catch up for a little bit. Worked on Trifle and returned emails. Made dinner (pizzas with Trader Joe's crust). I have been hungry for the fudgey, flourless torte that my mom has been in love with for a couple of years (she makes it once a week!) I may have to make it...I am in limbo though because I was going to make Lily chocolate cupcakes for her birthday on Thursday, so I hate to have too many temptations around the house. However, I have been hungry for that torte for several weeks. Oh, what a decision!

I have been doing really well regarding our loss, and since I have been back from vacation to see my aunt, I feel as though I have turned a corner. HOWEVER, there are still moments every day that I am sad. Some memory or I will come across something random that makes me think of Daisy. And, then I cry and tell myself to get it together. But why should I have to feel like I need to have it together? It is okay that I am still sad. Yes, I have decided not to dwell on it, but that doesn't mean I can't have a good crying session (or two) on a daily basis!


Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Planting Seeds

We planted and planted and planted today. We planted our garden--zucchini, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, jalapenos, broccoli, bell peppers, green beans, and three types of lettuce. Mostly organic, but some we couldn't find organic seeds/starts for.

Then, I planted my annual herbs (my perennial herbs are already up)--basil, parsley, and Matt talked me into cilantro.

We also planted some moss, ground cover, a black eyed susan vine, and one of my pots. I have two more pots of flowers to go, then we'll be done. (unless Matt decides to order the blueberry bushes.)

The thing I am most excited about--I planted daisies right outside my kitchen window. I am very excited and hope they have enough sun to flourish where planted.

All that to say, I am exhausted! Matt went to the hockey game tonight, so I had Lily. She was really good, as usual. She is still up in her bed reading to her baby and Elmo. I hear her singing to them too....She is hysterically funny. I cannot believe she will be turning TWO this week! I am trying to come up with some fun things that we can do to make her birthday week special. Next Saturday is her big party with the fam. Should be a fun week!

A little sad today. I think the death around me has had a negative affect on my soul today. Britney's grandma died this morning and it makes me sad. It was her time to go, but nonetheless, it is sad. It makes me fear losing on of my grandmas. I love them both so dearly and I hope they are around for awhile so that Lily remembers them. I wrote/sent three sympathy cards today. It is no wonder my heart and mind is thinking of Daisy today.

Lily and I hit some garage sales today. Got her a couple of things (toys).

Off to make dinner. Think Mom and Dad are going to stop in tonight after their cottage plumbing meeting, so want to have dinner made. Mandrin Orange Salad, Chicken Shells, Baked Asparagus. I have peaches out to possibly make Peach and Blueberry Crumbles, if I have time or feel like it. Otherwise, it is just peaches!

Lily helping measure the flour for our cookies on Friday night.

Day One

Welcome to my new blog. As stated in the previous blog, I have decided to focus on life rather than on the past. Coming home from Europe, I felt a need to "move on" and do something a little different. In this blog, my desire is to share my daily life. Yes, I am sure there will be some struggles that are put on the table. However, I am going to really try not to dwell on them. So, that deserves a new start. With my other blog, I felt as though it was about Daisy. I did not want to "muddy" it with posting pictures of Lily or minimize that Daisy aspect. With this blog, I am hoping to just share life as it comes (YOU KNOW I WILL BE HONEST BECAUSE I ALWAYS AM!)