Lily asked me on two separate occasions if the baby in my tummy was going to go to Heaven with Daisy. Both times, I responded by telling her that I hoped that they baby got to stay here on earth with us for awhile.
It was one of the hardest things Matt and I had to do--to tell our very comprehending 3 year old that the baby in mommy's belly went to Heaven to be with Daisy and Jesus. Unfortunately (and fortunately) she totally got it. She understood that from now on we weren't going to pray for the baby in mommy's belly anymore. And from that moment on she no longer asked if baby liked the food that I was putting in my mouth. She understood.
It has been 4 and 1/2 weeks since I miscarried. I have not updated the blog until now. I did not know what to say this time around. Not to mention, we did spend the month of July at the lake. We rented the same place we did last year. This year, I spent the month recovering physically and emotionally. Sadly, the month went quickly and I am feeling better now. Since I was 14 weeks along when I miscarried, the doctor advised that the recovery would be 6-8 weeks. And, I am still not 100%. Now that I am home, I am trying to catch up with jobs around the house. However, it is hard to be back because I feel like I have to face reality a little bit more often. At the lake, somehow, I felt a little bit removed from it. Now, I am home and somewhat lonely. Have plenty to do, but don't really feel like doing any of it.
Wednesday is our 10th wedding anniversary. TEN YEARS!!!! We honestly are closer and more on the same page than ever. Thanks to the trials that God has allowed, we have become closer to HIM and closer as a couple. With the loss of Daisy I did not have any inclination to ask WHY. However, this time around, I wanted to. However, I did not allow myself to do it. And, Matt did remind me as I was struggling with that that him and I were closer again because of the loss. And, we did learn some things this time around also.
Lily, as always, has been such a joy. She is such a reminder that we have so much to be grateful for. God gave us her before all of this and she has been such a lovely light in our lives. She is always making us laugh, even if it is in embarrassment.
At the grocery store the other day, Lily yelled at the top of her lungs~
"Look Dad, that man has a ponytail! LOOK! LOOK! LOOK! He has a ponytail! Mans aren't supposed to have ponytails!" needless to say, Matt was totally embarrassed.
Another funny moment this week~
Matt had a frozen coffee drink. Lily knows she can have some coffee if it is cold. So, Matt had let her have some.
Suddenly from the back seat she says, "Dad, do you love me?"
Matt said, "Yes, I love you, Lily."
She then said, "Then can I have some more of your drink?"
Lily had a ball at the lake. Unfortunately, I was not able to have many visitors as I did last year. However, Lily was able to swim almost every day. She also got to tube and play to hear hearts content. She got to spend time with my mom (and so did I).
more later. Off to attend to Lily.
