Got myself ready for my doctor's appointment today. I typically do my hair, put on a little makeup, put "real" clothes on (instead of sweatpants). I am waiting for it to be time to leave. And then, I realize--I didn't put on makeup! I am used to not wearing ANY that I didn't think about applying it when I was upstairs. The question then becomes, do I make my way upstairs (something we are told not to do much on bedrest) and apply makeup or do I eliminate it all together?
5 more days of bedrest. That's right. FIVE more days until I am (mostly)released from this 12 week journey. This week, I have been doing a few things that I wouldn't normally do. The girl that does my hair offered to come to our house and hilite my hair. Thankfully, we did not do a cut this week because at the end of the hilite, I had to venture up the stairs to take a shower. At the end of that, I WAS EXHAUSTED. No contractions or complications. Just plain tired. I could hardly move. My muscles have atrophied and whittled away to virtually nothing.
I have an exercise band that I have been working with. However, sometimes it would get my heart-rate going too much and I would start contracting or having other issues. Therefore, I have mainly used it for stretching my legs. Last night I did a few yoga poses. I am going to attempt to use my band and do yoga poses faithfully for the next 5-12 days. (And more thereafter)
I remember the overwhelming feeling after having Daisy. Almost everything I would think about doing by myself was overwhelming. It sounds ridiculous, but it is the same last time as I am finding this time. Just considering going somewhere by myself: driving there, being there, driving myself home. OVERWHELMING!!! The thought of making a recipe with more than 4 ingredients: OVERWHELMING. The thought of walking through a store: OVERWHELMING! The thought of walking around the block with Lily: OVERWHELMING. Places with lots of people and/or lots of commotion (church, playgrounds) OVERWHELMING. We have people that have been helping us in various ways and are in and out every day. However, it takes time to re-adjust to those 'normal' activities. As I recall from the last time, once I regain energy, face it, and then do the overwhelming tasks/activities, it lessens the magnitude of the 'control' it has over my mind and body. Last time, I had the task of overcoming many more physical restraints (like major blood loss) and grief. I am hoping this time, the rebound rate will be much quicker.....
Once I am at 36 weeks, if I go into labor, I go into labor. However, my doctor would prefer if I made it to 37. (Half of baby boys born at 36 weeks still go to the NICU!) So, even though I am going to attempt to be up a little bit more in the next 12 days, I will still probably limit my activities quite a bit. I probably will not be driving much, grocery shopping, etc. There is definitely strategy in rebuilding without going into labor!!!!
My brother and sister-in-law are having their baby in a few days. We will be adding another little girl to the Post Family. I am looking forward to meeting the new Miss Post. They are coming down (from Auburn) to see us this weekend. I am excited to see them. Next time we meet, we will have at least one new family member!
I am hoping/praying for this little man's arrival to be a healing moment. The birth of a healthy full-term baby will be something we have waited for for several years. However, I am aware that it will not take the pain, loss, sorrow away. In fact, the last couple of days, it has hit home with me....I still long for Daisy. I still would love to hold her in my arms. I still wish I had my little girl. This baby does not replace her. Nor does he take away the heartache or longing. He is still in my mind a redemption baby. I am looking forward to meeting him and starting a life including him in our family. And I am hoping that his presence in our lives will aid in some of the continual process of healing.
Starting to fear and have some normal uneasiness about the upcoming labor/delivery. Never know what we will be going through at the hospital. We expect the unknown. We hope for the best. I have been addressing/confessing my fears regularly and asking for God to replace it with peace. Peace that we will be accepting with His best.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Never mind my manners........
You know you are really, really pregnant when you ignore your natural inhibitions and eat straight out of the fridge. YES, today I found myself opening the fridge, getting a container out, putting it on the island, using a fork (it was the least I could do), eating right out of the container. The fridge door was still open. And things taste better. I couldn't stop eating the food because it tasted so good and I am pretty much a bottomless pit. HAHA. I could not stop myself. I kept eating and eating. I would think, "one more bite" "oh, one more." The funny thing is is that a person brought the food and it was supposed to be part of our dinner. I finally exercised self-control and put it away. But, I am still thinking about it. And I am still hungry. Not a good combination......Hopefully Matt gets home soon! If not, we may be ordering dinner:) HAHA!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Nuggets of Truth
The LORD gives little nuggets of truth, inspiration, peace when I am in the midst of anything. It seems as though biblical truths pertain to us directly. Sometimes I have read a passage before and sometimes I have not. Sometimes I notice a different nugget of the same verse or sometimes I remember the verse before or after it, but I don't recall the verse that pertains this time around. I love the way that the verses speak to us through the HOLY SPIRIT at different times in our lives.
Below is the verse that I came across yesterday. I emailed it to some of you because I loved how pertinent it was. Before I give the verse, I must confess that I went into the doctor's office early yesterday (before my scheduled appointment). I was having such horrific pain. It wasn't contractions, but it was constant pain that brought tears! I honestly thought I was going to end up in the hospital. We figured out that the baby was on a nerve/pressure point. Once we got him off that nerve, I was fine! (exhausted from the excruciating pain that lasted hours and a little embarrassed that it wasn't more serious as the pain had indicated, but fine) So when I got home and read the verse I was encouraged that the craziness of our every day lives is not in vain, but does have a purpose.
Ecclesiastes 5:11
"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things."
Another version says at the end: "so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
It correlates well with Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
We may not understand it, but we know that it is for HIS good. I do not know why I am on bedrest or why I have pregnancy hiccups happening constantly (I am not being overly dramatic or being a hypochondriac) or why my grandma is dying when I cannot visit her or why a friend's marriage is rocky, ETC. BUT I do know that God is orchestrating it all and it is for his glory.
This pregnancy despite its struggles has been such a redemption. A redemption of many aspects of our lives. And once this little man is here. The redemption is going to be even greater. I am starting tire of being pregnant and ready to meet this (still nameless) little guy. Sounds like I have a definitive answer of 3 more weeks of bedrest. I am 33 weeks and would be 36 weeks at that time. If I go into labor at 36 weeks, my doctor would not stop it. And therefore, we have 2 weeks and 5 more days of this living situation. Truthfully, as I have stated previously, Matt and I are worried about my strength level after the 36 mark. I still don't know if I will be able to go to the grocery, attend many social outings, make dinner, etc. But as HE has done all along, I know that God will provide a person that will call and offer themselves. The person that does our grocery shopping was going to be gone this coming Friday. I knew I needed to ask someone to help. On Friday morning, a sweet lady that we know from Blackhawk Ministries (our former church) called and offered to do some errands for me. I didn't have to worry about it-God had someone in mind that was going to call and offer. These are not coincidences! How amazing are HIS works?
PS If you know someone in a situation similar and don't know what to do to help: I have figured out the best thing anyone can do is call them once a week. (Put it on your calendar because you will have a good intention of doing it, but may not remember to do it.) Offer something specific: Dinner, errands, transporting kids, watching kids, grocery, Starbucks, etc. If you are going to Target, call and offer to get them the things they need at Target. You don't have to go way out of your way.........The people that call, text, email on a consistent basis are the ones that are the most helpful. One week I may not need something from Target, Walgreens, Sam's Club, but the next, I do! That's been my experience/observation.
Below is the verse that I came across yesterday. I emailed it to some of you because I loved how pertinent it was. Before I give the verse, I must confess that I went into the doctor's office early yesterday (before my scheduled appointment). I was having such horrific pain. It wasn't contractions, but it was constant pain that brought tears! I honestly thought I was going to end up in the hospital. We figured out that the baby was on a nerve/pressure point. Once we got him off that nerve, I was fine! (exhausted from the excruciating pain that lasted hours and a little embarrassed that it wasn't more serious as the pain had indicated, but fine) So when I got home and read the verse I was encouraged that the craziness of our every day lives is not in vain, but does have a purpose.
Ecclesiastes 5:11
"Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things."
Another version says at the end: "so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things."
It correlates well with Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
We may not understand it, but we know that it is for HIS good. I do not know why I am on bedrest or why I have pregnancy hiccups happening constantly (I am not being overly dramatic or being a hypochondriac) or why my grandma is dying when I cannot visit her or why a friend's marriage is rocky, ETC. BUT I do know that God is orchestrating it all and it is for his glory.
This pregnancy despite its struggles has been such a redemption. A redemption of many aspects of our lives. And once this little man is here. The redemption is going to be even greater. I am starting tire of being pregnant and ready to meet this (still nameless) little guy. Sounds like I have a definitive answer of 3 more weeks of bedrest. I am 33 weeks and would be 36 weeks at that time. If I go into labor at 36 weeks, my doctor would not stop it. And therefore, we have 2 weeks and 5 more days of this living situation. Truthfully, as I have stated previously, Matt and I are worried about my strength level after the 36 mark. I still don't know if I will be able to go to the grocery, attend many social outings, make dinner, etc. But as HE has done all along, I know that God will provide a person that will call and offer themselves. The person that does our grocery shopping was going to be gone this coming Friday. I knew I needed to ask someone to help. On Friday morning, a sweet lady that we know from Blackhawk Ministries (our former church) called and offered to do some errands for me. I didn't have to worry about it-God had someone in mind that was going to call and offer. These are not coincidences! How amazing are HIS works?
PS If you know someone in a situation similar and don't know what to do to help: I have figured out the best thing anyone can do is call them once a week. (Put it on your calendar because you will have a good intention of doing it, but may not remember to do it.) Offer something specific: Dinner, errands, transporting kids, watching kids, grocery, Starbucks, etc. If you are going to Target, call and offer to get them the things they need at Target. You don't have to go way out of your way.........The people that call, text, email on a consistent basis are the ones that are the most helpful. One week I may not need something from Target, Walgreens, Sam's Club, but the next, I do! That's been my experience/observation.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
33 weeks
Lily falls asleep listening to "10,000 Reasons" or her new favorite song, "Hosanna." She also likes Taylor Swift's song, "Call me Maybe."
Her prayer the other night was this, "Dear Jesus, Thank you for everyone but the bad mans. I'm serious about that, Jesus." Matt said he was (quietly) laughing so hard that her bed was shaking (He was lying on her bed as they prayed). He was worried she would ask him why the bed was shaking and he didn't want to tell her that he was laughing at her prayer.
Lily is such a joy. I love her and am grateful that her heart is sweet.
33 weeks today!!!! My belly is getting "huger" every day. And third trimester has set it with its aches, pains, discomfort, sleeplessness, etc. (And the very loud thunderstorms are not helping with the sleeplessness!) Some days I am starving; other days I am hungry, but can hardly eat. Not sure what is the deal with that. Feeling ready to be done with pregnancy, but have a couple of months yet......
Ordered Lily's birthday invitations. Age 5 is coming up! She is very excited about being 5. She is reading. I have bought some I CAN READ books and she is flying through them. I have given her two and she has them down pat. I have several more. I was hoping to save them until her birthday, but she is such a book worm that I may not be able to contain them. I may end up giving them to her. She cherishes both of them and reads them every night. We check on her before we go to bed. Every night since I gave them to her, she is asleep with them on her lap.
There are several dresses that I would like to have, but don't see any point in ordering.....Once I am no longer pregnant, I still won't be my normal size. It would be months before I get to actually try them on to see if they are going to fit. Not to mention, dresses have gotten expensive. And for these reasons, I have not ordered them.....I have a few bathing suits that I have my eye on too. However, feeling as there is no point! Need to wear the cover up the "fat" suits for the summer! Maybe I should just order some shoes (not my favorite thing to shop for.)
Hoping that baby's nursery will be painted this weekend. And then the real fun starts: putting it all together! Ordered and received diapers and wipes. Have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Think I am going to beg to be off full bedrest. And also, I am going to ask them to not schedule any more ultrasounds. From 34 weeks on, I am hoping things will go smoothly-no need for ultrasounds. I am still having contractions, but they don't seem to be putting me into full-blown labor.
Bedrest is a continual process of self-denial. Everything from not helping around the house (it is hard not to help when dishwasher needs unloaded, food needs made, Lily needs help, things pile up). Self-denial can come in different forms such as wanting tea or something (chocolate souffles, soup, lemon pie, deviled eggs, fish tacos) homemade and not asking for it. Since Matt is already doing so much, I feel as though I should limit my requests. Self-control can be not going upstairs to check out the baby's nursery when Matt is working on it or saying no to Lily when she is asking me to make her a smoothie. Emotionally, it is draining. Emotionally, my heart breaks when I have to ask for help for a simple task such as filling up my own water or tell Lily no for something I would normally be glad to do. I am looking forward to these moments minimizing themselves. I am looking forward to going to Target, church, the lake, my grandma's/friend's, Starbucks, the grocery, the park. AND I HARDLY CAN WAIT to eat out at a restaurant. Club Soda, Henry's, Biaggi's oh how I miss thee!
Even if I do get off bedrest in the next 2 weeks, I am too pregnant to be moving around too quickly! Because I have been down so much, my strength is shot. I am so weak. I know that I will regain it. However, I am starting to wonder how I will even be able to carry an 8 pound baby up the stairs several times a day.
April 15th is coming upon us. Dad is almost done with his busy-est season. I have only seen a glimpse of him a few times since Christmas.
Her prayer the other night was this, "Dear Jesus, Thank you for everyone but the bad mans. I'm serious about that, Jesus." Matt said he was (quietly) laughing so hard that her bed was shaking (He was lying on her bed as they prayed). He was worried she would ask him why the bed was shaking and he didn't want to tell her that he was laughing at her prayer.
Lily is such a joy. I love her and am grateful that her heart is sweet.
33 weeks today!!!! My belly is getting "huger" every day. And third trimester has set it with its aches, pains, discomfort, sleeplessness, etc. (And the very loud thunderstorms are not helping with the sleeplessness!) Some days I am starving; other days I am hungry, but can hardly eat. Not sure what is the deal with that. Feeling ready to be done with pregnancy, but have a couple of months yet......
Ordered Lily's birthday invitations. Age 5 is coming up! She is very excited about being 5. She is reading. I have bought some I CAN READ books and she is flying through them. I have given her two and she has them down pat. I have several more. I was hoping to save them until her birthday, but she is such a book worm that I may not be able to contain them. I may end up giving them to her. She cherishes both of them and reads them every night. We check on her before we go to bed. Every night since I gave them to her, she is asleep with them on her lap.
There are several dresses that I would like to have, but don't see any point in ordering.....Once I am no longer pregnant, I still won't be my normal size. It would be months before I get to actually try them on to see if they are going to fit. Not to mention, dresses have gotten expensive. And for these reasons, I have not ordered them.....I have a few bathing suits that I have my eye on too. However, feeling as there is no point! Need to wear the cover up the "fat" suits for the summer! Maybe I should just order some shoes (not my favorite thing to shop for.)
Hoping that baby's nursery will be painted this weekend. And then the real fun starts: putting it all together! Ordered and received diapers and wipes. Have a doctor's appointment on Friday. Think I am going to beg to be off full bedrest. And also, I am going to ask them to not schedule any more ultrasounds. From 34 weeks on, I am hoping things will go smoothly-no need for ultrasounds. I am still having contractions, but they don't seem to be putting me into full-blown labor.
Bedrest is a continual process of self-denial. Everything from not helping around the house (it is hard not to help when dishwasher needs unloaded, food needs made, Lily needs help, things pile up). Self-denial can come in different forms such as wanting tea or something (chocolate souffles, soup, lemon pie, deviled eggs, fish tacos) homemade and not asking for it. Since Matt is already doing so much, I feel as though I should limit my requests. Self-control can be not going upstairs to check out the baby's nursery when Matt is working on it or saying no to Lily when she is asking me to make her a smoothie. Emotionally, it is draining. Emotionally, my heart breaks when I have to ask for help for a simple task such as filling up my own water or tell Lily no for something I would normally be glad to do. I am looking forward to these moments minimizing themselves. I am looking forward to going to Target, church, the lake, my grandma's/friend's, Starbucks, the grocery, the park. AND I HARDLY CAN WAIT to eat out at a restaurant. Club Soda, Henry's, Biaggi's oh how I miss thee!
Even if I do get off bedrest in the next 2 weeks, I am too pregnant to be moving around too quickly! Because I have been down so much, my strength is shot. I am so weak. I know that I will regain it. However, I am starting to wonder how I will even be able to carry an 8 pound baby up the stairs several times a day.
April 15th is coming upon us. Dad is almost done with his busy-est season. I have only seen a glimpse of him a few times since Christmas.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
I have been having contractions since Saturday evening. UGH! Of course, one of the few times I cannot get them calmed, my doctor is out of town. I honestly didn't think (and I don't think the doctor did either) that I would have problems this week. I haven't had a bout of contractions since February. I have had a few here and there, but nothing continual that wouldn't stop. Ended up making a doctor's appointment for today. Thankfully my doctor had thrown out a few names of other doctors that practiced similarly to himself. They did an(another) ultrasound. Everything looks okay....Guess my body is prepping itself for the real thing. It is truly confusing. Some of my earlier contractions did effect my cervix. Therefore, when should I be concerned? When should I just ignore them and stay on the sofa? 4 days of contractions and they are not doing anything major to the cervix....Anxious for my doctor to get back. Seeing a new doctor was fine, but it will be nice to have my own doctor back to consult with.
Baby's room is continually in progress. Still trying to decide on a paint color.
People bringing meals has ceased. So far, we have done okay. Matt's mom sends things periodically. Matt makes easy meals, as long as I have the ingredients on hand. And our babysitter is willing to help cook on Fridays when she is here. She is great about prepping things ahead too. And thankfully, we have a few things left in our freezer that are made up. And of course, Matt is capable of picking things up. I truly MISS COOKING! I wish I could just do it myself.....
Picture on the right is of Lily and Matt on Easter. The other one is today. She was so stylish (and yes, she uses that word). I had to take a picture!
PS Funniest thing Lily has said recently, "I cannot eat my pasta! The noodles are too tangled!" She was upset, shrill, adamant. Once her pasta was cut into pieces, she ate it.....OCD??
Baby's room is continually in progress. Still trying to decide on a paint color.
People bringing meals has ceased. So far, we have done okay. Matt's mom sends things periodically. Matt makes easy meals, as long as I have the ingredients on hand. And our babysitter is willing to help cook on Fridays when she is here. She is great about prepping things ahead too. And thankfully, we have a few things left in our freezer that are made up. And of course, Matt is capable of picking things up. I truly MISS COOKING! I wish I could just do it myself.....
Picture on the right is of Lily and Matt on Easter. The other one is today. She was so stylish (and yes, she uses that word). I had to take a picture!
PS Funniest thing Lily has said recently, "I cannot eat my pasta! The noodles are too tangled!" She was upset, shrill, adamant. Once her pasta was cut into pieces, she ate it.....OCD??
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