Tomorrow is a day I have been dreading for the whole year. In fact, I have been dreading the next 20 days for this entire year. Reliving memories is emotionally takes alot of energy...The memories have been with me all year, but Dec 1, things started to get a little more real again.
I feel lost on how to remember her, but how to make the day(s) not a pity-party. I did make a flourless chocolate torte(with the help of a friend and my mom--it's been a crazy day here). Thought I would eat a piece in remembrance of her birthday tomorrow.
I have received a few notes/messages from friends today--God's timing is fantastic. I was just sitting in my house all alone and another friend contacted me and let me know that she had Daisy on her calendar tomorrow to help her remember. I know God will meet me tomorrow too, but I am fearing it with all (well most) of my being.
There is an innate fear that I just cannot shake. I am scared of the pain to come. But I guess there cannot be advancement without a few strides of pain.
In BSF we have been studying about Perfect Peace. I just hope that God will provide perfect peace for me tomorrow...Off to take a nap before our dinner guests arrive.
