I am realizing how depression truly can be a chemical imbalance. My brain is not right....Ironically when we lost Daisy, I had a long period of true mourning. I also had a very long period of physical recovery. However, I do not think I ever went through a depression like I am combatting now. For the people that deal with it--I am learning alot about them. I am learning that some of it can be dealt with with thought rehab:) Some of it can be helped with exercise and vitamins and rest and eating properly and making yourself do social activities. However, if all else fails, there is a definite need for MEDICINE intervention. As much as I don't want it to be the answer and I am trying to combat it with everything else, I may just have to bite the bullet (or pill) and take it.
Truly, not many people talk much about it, but I do think it is a problem that many women deal with. The more I talk to people, the more I realize that not just postpartum, but many types of depression are part of our society. And, I do think that technology doesn't help us. We can text, email, etc without having any TRUE human interaction. Having human interaction does help....Not to get on my technology rampage, but I think it is a good reminder for me that picking up the phone and calling someone can be a good answer sometimes, especially after something traumatic.
A Lily story: I was french braiding Lily's hair today for the first time. She was playing with her combs and standing in her bathroom on her stool. As all three year olds do, she kept trying to get me to look at this and that and have this deep conversation about nothing with her. I finally told her, that I couldn't talk or look because I was trying to concentrate. She asked me the inevitable WHY....I reiterated that I need to concentrate. She was quiet for a second and then said, "When Aunt Candace does it, she doesn't need to concentrate!" I had to defend myself--I said that I was relearning how to braid and that mommy wasn't as good as Aunt Candace at doing hair; that some people it took lots of practice. She keeps me smiling and keeps me going whether I FEEL like it or not. I guess I need to take lessons from Aunt Candace!
Off to load the car. We are going to dinner with friends, then I think we are off to the lake.
