Saturdays I am GRUMPY. Why is that? I know I have written about it before, but just cannot figure out why I tend to be a grouch.
One of my speculations today was that I keep it together (for the most part) in front of Lily all week. I tend to her, play with her, plan fun things to do with her. So, I cater to her all week. Along with that, I also cage my emotions for her. I don't cry much--I try to make our life fun and active and normal....Then, on Saturdays, I just need my alone time. I need some space. I announced to Matt this morning that EVERY SATURDAY I think I need to get out, by myself, for at least an hour. I need to be free. I know it is selfish, especially when we have a million jobs to do on Saturdays, but I think I just need it. Now, the real question is, do I need it because I am a stay at home mom? OR Do I need it because of the emotional trauma I have been through? I don't know the answer to that question. Maybe it is a little bit of both.
Making Laddie Cookies today. Laddie cookies are really just the Nieman Marcus Cookies. We renamed them Laddie cookies when I was growing up because our dog, Laddie, ate a batch of them....Raw. My mom had left them on the counter ready to bake and he was in the garage. Somehow he got in and ate all of them. Mom was SOOO mad at him....But now it is a fond memory. I made the whole batch.....IT MAKES ALOT! Now, I need to go bake them all and put them in the freezer. I had to laugh (for the first time today). I was making the whole batch (I usually only do the half) and my mixer was not big enough. It was overflowing. Check it out. I had to post the picture! If anyone wants the recipe, let me know and I'll post it.
Lily got the camera out the other day and insisted that I take a picture of her. Then she wanted to look at it, so I posted that too....She LOVED it....
Isaiah 41:10 NIV
"So do not fear for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Nothing wrong with getting out on Saturday for a bit! :) Alone time is healthy and can make you a better momma and wife I think! I have been trying to get up early and walk a mile or so before Abbi wakes up, maybe you could walk each day before Matt leaves? If I lived next door you could pop over for a hug anytime of the day. :)
ReplyDeleteGARLIC... girl, I know it is awesome for you. I just get passed the gross factor. hehe
Love you!!
Polly
Doing a little catching up on your blog posts and had to chuckle at your comments about being grumpy on Saturdays. It may help you to know that I feel the VERY SAME WAY a lot of weekends! I think I exert so much energy during the week just doing all of the meal planning and preparing, trying to keep a little order in the house and juggling the entertainment needs of the family that by the time the weekend is here, I desperately need a break. Slowly I have become more comfortable with letting go for a few hours and just doing something for myself. Or when we're at a family get together, if someone wants to take Finn for a few minutes while I eat or just visit, I don't hesitate to let him go. I tend to feel guilty sometimes when I just want some me time or to worry about no one other than myself, but then I remind myself that those little breaks are what I need to relax and recharge so I can have the energy to do it all the next week. If I don't take advantage of those little opportunities, then the weeks can tend to all run together and wear me out too quickly! :) Here's my thinking -- working for a company like VB was so much fun...and I most likely want to return to it again someday...and there are lots of days that I think it would be easier than staying home. Truth is, I think it would be easier in a lot of ways and I think staying home is more stressful. But somehow staying at home and being available for my family is so worth it and I love it! I especially cherish these preschool years where we don't really have much of a schedule and we can just be free to do whatever!
ReplyDeleteTreat yourself soon, my sweet friend! You deserve it!
Love,
Emily S.