"eating lifestyle change"

In order to help my health, I am trying a new way of eating (notice I don't say DIET).

I am posting my new favorite blog as a link on my blog (at the bottom where I have a couple other favorite blogs listed). Most of the recipes are gluten and dairy free. nourishingmeals.com. She has other links to healthy, gluten free websites. I haven't explored those yet.

Gluten free--pretty easy once you get used to it

Dairy free--challenging

Soy free--more challenging than I thought. I am not a huge soy/asian/marinade person so I thought it would be easy, but there is soy in ALOT of foods....

Sugar free--ugh, need I say more?

Caffeine free--tormenting

Alcohol free--easier than expected, but decided to cheat on this one for the 20 days of Daisy's life.

Yeast free--easy

Egg free--hard at first, but easier now. I think it will be much easier when I add them back in.

I did this three weeks straight. The first week was horrible, but it got much easier. Since I cheated a little bit at Christmas, I have been allowing myself to cheat more often. Think after the next few days pass, I am going to go back to not cheating at all. Did I feel better? YES...However there are still some medical issues that I need to be concerned with, so I will try to combat them all with this lovely way of eating.

Many restaurants are accommodating, to an extent. AND, there are some restaurants that have gluten free menus.

My birthday and the anniversary of Daisy's life ending on earth is this week. Since Dec 23rd, I have been unstable emotionally. I guess that it is to be expected. I have trudged through most of it, but some of it I just had to not participate. I am dreading the next few days with every ounce of my being. I had been dreading Dec 23rd, but it turned out to be a good day and I realized that it was Daisy's birthday, so it was a celebration. January 12th, however, is going to be very sad. Yes, she got to go to HEAVEN on that day, but holding her as she died was one of the most painful days I will (hopefully) experience.

Not sure what I am doing that day....Not sure if I will be able to function, really. January 15th was the funeral. January 16th was the burial. Oh, the days ahead...I need to not think about the date itself.

Off to get ready for bed.

Jan 2--Organizing ourselves silly

The last week and a half has been a journey. Better than expected....Christmas and Matt being home made the time FLY. Matt and I have worked so hard at getting our house decluttered. We have not only gotten rid of random things we do not need, but tried to empty drawers and organize, pitch, and reevaluate. Some items are just hard to part with, but there comes a time when IT IS TIME! We still have three closets to go and half the basement that still needs our purging-crazed selves to go through. I am anxious to be finished, but it feels so good to get rid of stuff we do not need, want.

Several things have attributed to this desire, I think. One, my mom has been trying to simplify the lake cottage stuff. She is truly getting rid of TONS of stuff in order to simplify the lake. She is doing the same with the house, now that the lake stuff isn't in her house anymore.

Also, my in-laws are moving. They have a very large house now and are moving to a very small space until they find a house they love....And they are having to look at every possession and decide whether it stays or goes....

Thirdly, bringing so many Christmas items in, forces some stuff to be bygones. As gifts are received, the house is cluttered without a place. I cannot stand it and neither can Matt....So, all new items now have a place.

Lastly, Lily's toys accumulate and clutter and TAKE OVER very quickly. So, we created a playroom for her. Grandpa Zook made a table for her. It is getting painted (hopefully) this week. Then, I have a chalk board from when I was little and we are going to put that in the playroom. We got some organizational cubes from Target...Her playroom is going to be the cutest room in the house when we are completed. AND, it eliminates all the clutter of toys! All the toys now have a home upstairs. We did keep a few downstairs, but most are up, up, and away!

One thing I have not organized this week is the Daisy box. However, it is my goal to do so in the next 10 days. 10 more days of remembering day-by-day what we were doing last year at this time. It is torturous, but I am reading through the blog from last year. It is good to see notes from friends and remember daily what Daisy's life and our lives were last year.

Off to read a little bit, then to bed....All this organizing and Matt and I are exhausted every night. Too bad he has to go to work tomorrow!

Tomorrow and beyond

Tomorrow is a day I have been dreading for the whole year. In fact, I have been dreading the next 20 days for this entire year. Reliving memories is emotionally takes alot of energy...The memories have been with me all year, but Dec 1, things started to get a little more real again.

I feel lost on how to remember her, but how to make the day(s) not a pity-party. I did make a flourless chocolate torte(with the help of a friend and my mom--it's been a crazy day here). Thought I would eat a piece in remembrance of her birthday tomorrow.

I have received a few notes/messages from friends today--God's timing is fantastic. I was just sitting in my house all alone and another friend contacted me and let me know that she had Daisy on her calendar tomorrow to help her remember. I know God will meet me tomorrow too, but I am fearing it with all (well most) of my being.

There is an innate fear that I just cannot shake. I am scared of the pain to come. But I guess there cannot be advancement without a few strides of pain.

In BSF we have been studying about Perfect Peace. I just hope that God will provide perfect peace for me tomorrow...Off to take a nap before our dinner guests arrive.