Life has been BUSY the last few days. Almost too much so. Polly emailed a group of people and had a verse that I really enjoyed. I Thess 4:11, " Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you,"

I am instructed to make it my ambition to lead a quiet life. I like to be busy, but too busy does lead to ignoring God, the Bible, and prayer. I had too many things scheduled today (and the last several day which leads to craziness and barely squeaking by! I have enjoyed the busyness, it forces me not to mope. Not sure which is best at this point! I know I need to stay busy so that I don't hate not working, but I should probably schedule a day just to be at home too.

Got to see two Vb friends yesterday. One that is also a stay at home mom now and another that still works full time at Vb. Really good to see both and catch up with both. Seeing them does make me miss the camaraderie of working with so many great people. But, I think I am content right now. Not to mention, we have a month at the lake cottage coming up, so I am so glad I don't have to work so I am able to spend a month in a cottage! I am blessed. God has a plan.

Well, off to put Lily to bed and get my jobs done. Think mom and dad are in FWY today for cottage errands. Since they haven't seen Lily much, they are going to stop by. I think my dad misses her. Have a feeling they will stay for dinner. I am considering making Barefoot Contessa's Easy Sole Meuniere. Think it needs garlic though! I'll post if later if it is good.

It is getting easier to celebrate other people's joys. I realized today at Zach's graduation party that there was a sense of pride/happiness that would not have been there a couple of months ago. A couple of months ago, I would have been "happy" for him, but not actually shared some of the happiness. I was so deep in my own sorrow, that I could hardly see past it. Does that make sense? Anyway, it feels good to "feel" outside of myself.

Many people losing babies. Maybe I was not aware until now, but another person shared that her daughter lost a baby girl one year ago May 20 (Lily's bday). Oh, there is so much baby loss. Their child did not have a NICU around, so the baby only lived for an hour. To think how many hours I had with Daisy. Little bits of her personality shined through and we got to know and love her all the more. I should have been at the hospital more......I just didn't have the energy and I was caring for Lily......But I also did not know that I would have (only) 20 days with her.

Drew and Marissa were home (Jon too) for the party. It was so nice to visit with Marissa. Through Drew and Marissa's entire dating/married life, I have been pregnant, on bedrest, or grieving. This was one of the first times I felt like I actually just got to get to visit with her and talk to her like a normal person. It was really nice and I am looking forward to the years to come; getting to know her.

Lily got attached quickly to Uncle Jon. He made her laugh within seconds of us walking in the door. He is going to be such a fantastic dad one day. He took her downstairs and turned on some music and danced with Lily. She loved it. She kept asking for him by saying, "Uncle Jon, downstairs!" It is fun to see her have fun.

Still after a day of interaction and high emotions, there is still a sadness at the end of the day. A sense of loss that does not go away, but hides underneath the surface. People say that over time it surfaces less, but it still hurts.....I think I will believe it when I experience it. I have gotten to the point where I can go through the motions without crying all the time, but I don't know if that's truly progress.

PS Candace and Briton's ultrasound was inconclusive! We may have a surprise on our hands!

I watched many Barefoot Contessa episodes on the Food Network when I was on bedrest (it was the one of the only shows I would watch virtually every day). I kept thinking that maybe I could be like Julie in Julie & Julia and cook my way through Ina's cookbooks. I am not sure if I am THAT motivated to do so, but am definitely on a recipe trying kick using her cookbooks. (And that was one of the items on my rejuvenation list, so I am happy to be accomplishing it!)

Last night, I made the Spring Green Risotto. Man, was it ALOT of work....But very yummy. Below is the link:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/spring-green-risotto-recipe/index.html

I substituted garlic for the fennel because I don't care for fennel. And, if I made it again, I would only use 2-2 1/2 cups of leeks. Overall, delish!

I love a clean house; not working creates so many more messes though. Lily and I are using the house every day--breakfast, lunch, dinner, and many play times. It becomes so much more dirty. I think i have swept 3 times this week. UGH!

Off to take my shower. Mom, Dad, Briton, Matt and I are taking Candace out for her birthday tonight. We are going to Paula's and I am excited to eat at a nice restaurant, since it has been awhile!